“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

First of all, Ruburt may continue with his daily psychological time experiments. But these are to be carried on but once daily, and if he tries any other sort of experiment, such as he tried with the Father Trainor poetry session last week, then he is not to attempt his regular psychological time experiment for that day.

One half-hour a day is more than sufficient, considering these sessions. And also, I am at present against these fairly frequent sessions where, on the one hand, Ruburt pretends that he is merely resting; that is, he pretends to himself, but actually he is expanding his energies, and expending them just as quickly, for this amounts to more than one psychological time experiment daily.

You were quite correct, Joseph, in cautioning Ruburt against the poetry session the other evening. He knew this but was obstinate. It is not only a case of being obstinate, however. I have told you that it is extremely limiting to regard the ego as the complete self or personality, or to think that the ego makes up the entire identity.

The identity, indeed, is as much and more the inner self as it is the ego. This has been mentioned in the past, but Ruburt became so fearful of his own spontaneity in early life that he was more or less forced, out of fear, to deny the validity of his identity with the inner self. On some occasions, as the other evening, he spontaneously accepts this identification, particularly when alcohol acts as a depressant.

We are dealing with delicate balances that must be maintained. With the schedule that I have suggested the inner energies are vividly and intensely focused, but for a short period of your time. This allows for an excellent utilization of the abilities already developed, and permits, again, excellent concentrated inner focus. Too many attempts at this time do not permit this brief but excellent intensification, and can lead to that peculiar semitrance state in which Ruburt found himself last week.

A complete change from intense focus outward to intense focus inward is most beneficial, but this does not mean that every few minutes found available be spent in psychological time experiments. Brisk walks should be a daily part of Ruburt’s schedule in any case, and walking also refreshes the inner self.

A few drinks, again, are even beneficial, but too many drinks do not belong.

I quite understand Ruburt’s curiosity when Father Trainor’s voice did indeed come through, although far from perfectly. And it did represent another phase of Ruburt’s developing abilities. But these abilities must be trained. I do believe that Ruburt has learned an important lesson. As his abilities do develop, it is even more important that he take walks, and that some frequency in daily contact with others is maintained.

I am not saying that you should always spend your weekend evenings in one particular manner. Evenings at home with guests are very good, but again, such evenings should not constantly be taken up with experiments and discussions, though they have their place at such gatherings now and then.

I am not saying you should always go dancing, but this is an excellent relaxation for you both, and leaving the house or visiting at someone else’s home is also good for you both. I would not take so much time this evening with this material if I did not feel that it was important enough to warrant it. Surely you and your friends could go dancing together when you can afford it. Surely, you can for example go with Mark to one of his jolly haunts. Even though no physical activity such as dancing is available the change is still good.

Again, my best and most fond wishes to both of you. I do not mean to be hard with Ruburt, but I did wish to make necessary suggestions which I felt were needed now.

(End at 10:37. Jane was well dissociated. Once in a while Jane and I have discussed extra sessions, but usually we do not have the time, particularly when other experiments like the one involving Father Trainor crop up. Occasionally we would like a session dealing with some specific problem, and may try this approach. Also one involving questions and answers.)

(When I finished this I kept wondering about it. Why hadn’t I thought to record it? What was the change in my voice? Had I imagined or elaborated on perhaps just a small change? I tried to do it over, on tape. The reading this time was not as striking as the first time, but still there was certainly something definitely going on.

(After lunch I decided to try again. At lunch I played the tape for Rob, then while posing for him I suggested to myself that I would go into a trance as soon as I began to read, and that Father Trainor would indeed use his voice to speak through me, if he was available. I then started all over again with the readings. Except, for what reason I do not know, I turned the recorder on but forgot to depress the “record” button.

(This performance was as good as the first one. I felt carried away by the voice, almost outside of myself, very light and disconnected from this voice. But I do recall that the book itself, which I held as I paced, was heavy. I grew cold and tingled as I read. My hands perspired quite a bit, perhaps from holding the book. Rob came out of his studio to listen to me. When I discovered that I had recorded nothing this time I felt cheated, because to me this reading had been most unusual.

(I was so angry that I did the whole thing over again. Lepanto is a four-page poem. This time the performance was about like the second one, already recorded. Perhaps if I feel subjectively right about doing it again, I may try it tonight. I don’t know where the volume comes from, the deep manlike tones. Perhaps it is what actors call merely projection, breathing from the diaphragm. I wasn’t conscious of breathing any differently than usual, but if this was a subconscious production that wouldn’t make any difference. But where would the male aspect enter, unless it be a woman’s attempt to mimic as best she could the voice of a man she had admired?

(The volume and male inflection Jane achieved during her various readings was quite amazing. I noticed that toward the end of each verse of the Lepanto she would reach a crescendo of volume and emotion that was indeed thrilling. For brief periods her voice would sound very alien. For other periods, during what seemed to be letdowns, I would know the voice was hers. But still it would be much stronger and lower in timbre than her natural voice.