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TES3 Session 105 November 9, 1964 37/78 (47%) Helen McIlwain death foreseen mother
– The Early Sessions: Book 3 of The Seth Material
– © 2013 Laurel Davies-Butts
– Session 105 November 9, 1964 9 PM Monday as Scheduled

[... 1 paragraph ...]

(Last Friday, November 6, John Bradley, from Williamsport, PA, visited us briefly. John could offer us no confirmation on Seth’s data concerning John’s home office in Chicago. This information was given in the 99th session, page 84. John recalls no one fitting the rather general description given by Seth.

[... 2 paragraphs ...]

(She had no actual idea of the subject matter for the session as the time for it approached. She began dictation in a rather normal voice, that occasionally struck a deeper undertone. Her glasses were off, her eyes dark. Her pacing was slow, and she spoke rather slowly, with frequent pauses.)

[... 4 paragraphs ...]

I realize that Ruburt in particular is in no mood for levity, and I would for his sake tell him that the information contained in his psychological time experiments, and in his dreams of late, is merely the fabrications of his subconscious, of which in the past he was not aware.

[... 2 paragraphs ...]

(Thus, Seth seems to be saying in the above paragraph that Jane received a communication through a personality that has been dead for two years. When Jane described her dream to me I had mistakenly taken it for granted that Helen McIlwain was still alive.)

First of all, when he cried out silently for you during a recent psychological time experience, it was because he sensed, through inner communications, a situation concerning a death in which he would need your support. The poor Rob cry was his regret at having to depend upon your support, taking, he feared, energy from your work; and a regret, based on fear, that he always feels whenever he is forced to rely upon someone’s strength.

[... 1 paragraph ...]

He fears that he will be loved when he gives support, but not loved when he must rely, or ask it, from another person. Sensing a death, immediately fearing that it was yours, Joseph, since he heard himself call for you, he hastily attempted to sacrifice his previous husband in your place. Therefore the mix-up of names when he wrote down his experience.

[... 3 paragraphs ...]

Last night’s dream was a communication from the Helen who was the friend of Ruburt’s mother. The message was directed to Ruburt. He did not pick it up from his mother. The envelope, the black envelope, was obviously a symbol, but it did enable Ruburt to see the name of the woman who was sending the message. And the import of the dream was clear to him merely in the perception of that simple data, the black envelope, with the return name in the left hand corner, and though he does not recall it, his name on the envelope as the person to whom the communication was sent.

Even in his dream he was stunned, afraid that the death was his own. This is why he could not remember that the envelope was addressed to him. In his dream, therefore, which he knew he would remember because of his training, he then added shielding fabrications, interwoven with the valid information.

[... 1 paragraph ...]

(Jane had again paused and gestured, hands up, eyes closed. Her voice was now quiet, and she paused often. I had become rather concerned, considering the content of the material, and watched her closely. I was prepared to end the session at once if I thought intuitively that it was necessary. Jane’s face was drawn, her eyes very dark beneath. She paced about with her eyes lowered mostly.)

He then attempted to substitute the name of Linda, your niece, and pretended not to know whose death was being perceived. Nor could he recall reading the message, or the name that was inside. That is why he cannot remember actually opening the envelope. In any case, opening the envelope was superfluous.

The relief he felt after deciding that he had safely tricked himself, he thought in the morning, was due to the fact that the future death was not his mother’s or his own, but one involving a relative at least somewhat distant. The relief of course was the result of his partial success in distorting the information, but despite distortions the sender came through, and the sex of the person whose death was unfortunately perceived.

(It might be added here that last September 2, Jane’s dream notebook reveals, Jane had a dream involving Helen McIlwain’s brother. The brother has been dead for at least five years, and quite possibly much longer, Jane states. Jane remembers the brother rather better than she remembers Helen, actually. The dream involving the brother was a rather ordinary one, Jane believes, and at least on the surface does not involve clairvoyance. Nor, superficially, does it appear to signal a communication from the brother.)

[... 4 paragraphs ...]

(Jane had also begun rubbing her hands together in a way, I remembered, that meant they again felt “fat” or enlarged to her. Many sessions ago, notably in the 50’s, this phenomena had been common to both of us. The last recent instance of it occurred in the 103rd session on a rather mild scale. It was now 9:30.)

[... 2 paragraphs ...]

The boy who delivered the message in Ruburt’s dream was partially a dream construction, representing a George Pilotte Junior, with whom Ruburt felt an affinity in early life; a relative, a cousin who is also psychically connected with Ruburt’s mother, and who is subconsciously connected in Ruburt’s mind with the death of his grandfather, since the boy, who is now a man, was kind to Ruburt at that time.

The psychological experience today was a reinforced message, tied in with the others, which again Ruburt tried to forget and could not quite manage, because he has now trained himself to recall such data.

[... 2 paragraphs ...]

(Break at 9:40. Jane was dissociated as usual. She was also physically sick to her stomach. She said she could not have continued without a break. The thought of milk seemed most unpalatable to her while she felt this way, but upon taking some she began to feel better. She was surprised, and ate a few cookies.

(Jane said that she felt the material was a burden at this point. She was not trustful of it at the moment. She hadn’t really thought Seth would say that her dream and psychological time data were correct; she didn’t think, moreover, that Seth would ever come out with such material, no matter whose death was involved.

(Again, I was prepared to end the session at any time Jane seemed unable to carry on. The food and drink seemed to be most helpful, however, and she resumed dictation in a quiet voice. She paused often and paced quite slowly. Resume at 9:54.)

[... 1 paragraph ...]

This made him more worried that the future death foreseen was his own, since he was looking up at a nurse and doctor while they looked down at him. He heard the words spoken by a nurse, “She is still in shock,” but he distorted the words so that he remembered them as being, “She is coming out of shock.”

The incident or hospital scene was valid, in that the death will occur in such surroundings. It reinforced the sex of the person involved, and it added the environment. Ruburt however constructed the images subconsciously, and then perceived them.

The particular event as he saw it was not valid, but the information contained therein was valid. The words, “She is still in shock”, however referred not to the person whose death was being perceived, but the words referred to Ruburt (as Jane) still being in a state of shock because of the clairvoyant information.

Thinking that the words referred to the physical condition of the person whose death was foreseen, Ruburt changed them as mentioned in an effort to better the situation. You will see here that indirectly but clearly we have given you the identity of the person whose death is foreseen, particularly when I add to the positive statement, though it may appear negative, that your mother, Joseph, is in no way involved.

(Jane’s voice was much quieter by now.)

Ruburt is calmer now, and I may add not only that his death was not involved in any manner, but also that his death will not occur for many years. He is extremely touchy, for all his training, upon this subject in general.

[... 1 paragraph ...]

You thought you hit something in the road, a stone perhaps, and Ruburt was insistent that he had seen a cat, and that the car had struck it. He wondered what had happened to the cat, and you went back together to see.

There was no cat. The above mentioned matters were on his mind. His eyes under good circumstances are inefficient. He saw a gray brown bag of cloth used to collect leaves, and usually connected to lawn mowers. It lay on or by the curb with leaves in it and it, uh, it had, ah, metal eyelets and another projection.

[... 1 paragraph ...]

(The incident Seth is describing took place this afternoon. Long after it was over it was on our minds, for we did not like to think of an injured animal that had, perhaps, crawled away to die.)

It had been disconnected from a mower. The man left it momentarily. He was called inside. You hit this and threw it, but it did not fly up, and the color mixed well with the pile of leaves there. It was gone when you returned.

Now that this is finished, we can return again to the subject at hand, and the mirror instance. The mirror, again, would have offered valid data had Ruburt looked into it, but again he grew frightened. And the mirror was, once more, a means by which information could be made intelligible to him, and specific, though the mirror in larger terms did not exist.

This does not make the experience any less valid. Merely it was the use of a mental implement, through which valid information could be received. He did not use the implement, that is he would not look into it.

[... 9 paragraphs ...]

(End at 10:31. Jane was dissociated as usual. She was not sick now, if also not hilarious, and also looked much better. Actually she said, she felt much better for having the information out in the open so that she did not have to constantly wonder whether it was valid, distorted, etc.

[... 1 paragraph ...]

(One development of possible interest concerning her mother took place last month, in October. Jane received a hand-knitted sweater from her mother as a Christmas present. In her accompanying letter Jane’s mother wrote to the effect that she was sending the sweater ahead of time because she did not “expect to be around” by Christmas. I remember that Jane and I were struck by the tone of the letter, but in all honesty neither did we take it overly seriously. Jane may still have the letter. If it is found it will be filed with other data pertinent to the Seth material.

[... 5 paragraphs ...]

(November 10, Tuesday, 8:30 PM: Strong sensation several times, flooding over whole body very pleasantly. Followed by an alternating vibration in my feet, as though they felt or sensed an unheard vibration, a mechanical rhythm as of machinery. This had good duration. This was followed by several glimpses of a father and son, in old-fashioned clothes, pedaling about city streets on an old-fashioned bicycle, the kind with a large front wheel.

(Also Tuesday: While falling asleep near midnight, I saw my brother Loren very clearly if briefly. He was with a group of young men and women I did not know. It appeared to be summer. Loren wore a colorful short-sleeved sport shirt and a light brown straw hat with a narrow brim. I believe he carried a pipe in his left hand. He stood on the left side of my field of vision. Smiling at me, he held out his right hand toward me. I did not hear him say anything.

(Thursday, November 12, 7 AM: This morning, again while dressing for work, I had an experience very similar to the one of Tuesday, November 3. This time I did not have a clear-cut thought that I should look out my studio windows. Instead I found myself walking back to them, and looking out I saw that, again, a car was blocking the exit of my car from its garage. It was also the same car as before, belonging to a tenant living downstairs. This is, I repeat, not the usual system for parking here.

(However I did not think much of this, and since Jane was already getting breakfast at the other end of the apartment, I forgot to mention it to her by the time I sat down to eat. And as before, by the time I left the apartment, the other car had been moved.

(What I did not know was that right after I left the apartment Jane had a sudden strong urge to walk back to the studio and look out. She found herself doing this almost without thinking, for she felt that my garage was blocked by another car. She did not see the car that had been blocking my way, for it had been moved by then. She saw me back out of the garage as usual. I did not look up to see her for I did not expect to. Jane says this is the first time she can remember that she has checked up to see if the garage was blocked. Nor does she watch me leave for work. She too forgot the incident until I happened to mention my experience at lunch.)

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