“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(By 8:55 PM Jane had no idea of the material for the session tonight, nor was she nervous.

This was true long before the Seth sessions ever began, and it is generally true. In such a state, regardless of its cause, any individual is more sensitive to inner data. I am making this plain, naturally, for your own benefit.

(Jane interrupted to look at me. It was now 9:35. I shook my head, since she seemed to want to go on, and was not talking so fast that I had difficulty keeping up.)

I mention here as example the evening when Ruburt’s father and his woman visited. You and Ruburt had been drinking, but to no great extent more than usual. The woman, unfortunately, was not as restrained in her drinking habits.

Now. Ruburt was in a splendid state of dissociation. He was also emotionally and intuitively attuned because of his father’s visit, and in an inner state of irritability, meaning excitability, which often accompanies dissociation. There is an outer aloofness, but an inner sensitivity to different stimuli.

Ruburt was more than ordinarily affected by the woman’s inner plea for help with problems that she finds she is less and less able to cope. Ruburt received that message, and in a conducive state was also in communication with me.

I was perfectly willing to hold such a session. I knew your reluctance, but you see I did not truly appreciate considerations that were strong with you, and as you recall I did not come through. But this was in deference to you and Ruburt personally. To me the social entanglements and—ah—possible social disagreeabilities did not exist.

(Break at 9:59. Jane was dissociated as usual, in fact very much so, she said. She had talked steadily for almost an hour, pacing the while, with few pauses on either count. Her voice had quieted if her pace had picked up, and she resumed in this manner at 10:06.)

This will not be a long session. The effect seen last evening was legitimate, and I will discuss it at a later date.

(Jane now took a rather long pause as she paced about. The effect Seth referred to, Jane told me later, was the one seen by Bill Macdonnel during Sunday’s unscheduled session—the opaque white eyes superimposed upon Jane’s closed eyelids.)

(See the unscheduled 82nd session. In this one Seth for the first time mentioned that Jane should work full time at her writing. This was August 27. By the end of September she had left the gallery where she had worked part time four years. This move was not dictated wholly by the Seth material, but certainly this played its part. Since leaving the gallery and buckling down to work, Jane had received many very favorable letters from publishers. Invariably they comment on the much improved quality of her work. This improvement has seemed to blossom like magic, and we feel that the time when Jane begins to sell her work regularly will soon arrive.)

(This, I can testify, is certainly true. In recent weeks alone, my work has improved remarkably; I am objective enough about it to be able to see this. In several recent paintings I have solved problems, almost effortlessly it seems, that I have been contending with for years. It may be coincidence that the studies are finally paying off, but it is also interesting that it should happen at this particular time. At times while working recently, I have had an almost magical ability to achieve whatever it was I wanted to do.)

I told you a while ago that what seemed impractical was practical, and that value fulfillment is the only true practicality.

(End at 10:35. Jane was quite well dissociated. Seth, she said, “came through real clear and strong from the beginning.”

(This was the first manifestation either of us had had of such a sign for many sessions. The 59th session furnishes an example of hand enlargement, which Seth labels as the attempt of the physical body to expand in rhythm with psychic, or inner, expansion. See the detailed measurement data in the 55th session also. As in the past, Jane’s sensation began to diminish as soon as the session ended; by the time I looked at her hand I could not see anything out of the ordinary.

(November 3, Tuesday, 11:30 AM: Not much of anything. I saw a mechanical gadget of some sort, quickly but not clearly enough to describe. I don’t know what it was.)

(November 3, Tuesday 7 AM: Getting dressed for work this morning, I abruptly had the rather clear thought that I should walk back to my studio and look out the back windows, because I would be able to see that a car was parked in front of the garage, blocking the exit of my car from the garage. Looking out the windows, I received a jolt when I did see a car so parked, blocking off the exit of my own car.

(I wonder: The car blocking mine belonged to a young man who lives in a downstairs apartment. By agreement we park so as not to block each other’s automobile comings and goings, and the system works well. I do not know why on this particular occasion his car was parked as it was; perhaps because another car had temporarily taken his regular place, then left later. Since my friend of downstairs knew his car must be blocking mine, perhaps I received a telepathic communication from him upon arising this morning. Going downstairs after breakfast, I saw the car was gone, which meant my neighbor had moved it considerably earlier than is usually his habit, since he leaves for work sometime after I do.

(A rather crazy experience today—I will separate it into parts as it was divided, part in the morning and part in the afternoon. I am writing this while I am still not myself as I do not want to fall off to sleep as I am tempted to do, don’t think it wise, and would like to describe both experiences while they are still fresh.

(I put in my usual morning writing hours 8:30 to 11:30 and then tried psychological time according to schedule, from then until noon. I set the alarm clock, lay down in the bedroom, closed my eyes and relaxed without giving myself any suggestions except that for complete relaxation. Was in good relaxed state but nothing was happening or anything. I said to myself, “Am I really going to make a good sale soon?” [meaning a book or story] and the words, “Evelyn’s grandmother,” sprang to mind. I figured that was meaningless and ignored it.

(Then, suddenly, the whole thing began. I was laying straight in bed, arms at my sides. Without warning I felt as if the bed was disappearing beneath my hands, as sand will shift away, leaving pockets of nothingness there, that kept enlarging. My thumbs definitely felt as if they were grasping the edge of these holes of nothingness; the holes enlarged further, spreading out beneath. A few minutes later, this is most difficult to describe, I felt a quick definite and physical whoosh outward as if I was suddenly shooting or rushing out through my head, longwise—strong frightening sense of motion and being completely carried away. Instantly panicked and stopped... whatever it was, at least I think I did.

(Then I was angry because I had been frightened but was still cautious and didn’t want to get in over my head. Told myself then that I could travel anyplace safely and return safely but that I would go slowly; that I was safe and confident and would welcome such a valid experience. Feeling resumed of bed disappearing beneath my hands. Strong red color behind closed eyelids. Feeling of heat in head, shoulders, back of neck, and then cold in same places. Sense of expanded radius inside closed eyelids. Then felt as if legs, arms, belly...dissolved, I guess is the best description. Feeling of suspension but not of motion. Then the alarm rang, yet still I lay there, had some slight difficulty in opening eyes but did so. Even with eyes open feeling of being suspended continued. Felt some resistance [on chest?] against rising, but decided it was not wise to experiment beyond normal time limit, and got up.

(Was left with light feeling [not a weakness or anything], feeling as if I could rise up bodily, and quite definite sensation of having an empty space above my wrists. Took our cat out though, sat on steps waiting for Rob to come home from work; feeling diminished. Got lunch, told Rob what happened, left house for walk to post office to mail manuscript, and to grocery store. During lunch very slight but noticeable lightness in wrists and hands. Mentioned it, but didn’t think it at all important. Intended to do my errands, come home and write from 1:30 till 4:30.

(Remember going to post office. Regular store was closed due to death in family, sign on door said this, and a woman going by so informed me. Decided to go to another store though this would make a longer trip than I had planned. Stood on corner to cross street. Telephone company men working on wires; two men high on pole. One man on road. Somehow the wire dropped, came down, falling maybe two feet from where I stood. I never noticed; it didn’t seem important. Ordinarily I would have jumped.

(Headed across playground to strange street, not on my ordinary route. From there in, the sensation of lightness spread throughout my body except for chest region. Seemed no effort at all to walk, completely effortless, as if there was no resistance at all to overcome; no sense of muscular motion for example. Fabulous sense of well-being; of floating along the street. Walked this way about four blocks; went to store, feeling the same; talked to woman who works there in ordinary manner.

(Left; started way home. By now, however, felt as if lightness rose through body, and this changed so that suddenly I felt as if lower part of body had dissolved completely, up to chest. No muscular knowledge of carrying bag with three quarts of milk, and book and cigarettes that I’d purchased at all. Suddenly worried; realized for the first time that I wasn’t in state of something like just plain extraordinary good humor or good health or ordinary but unusual exuberance. First, I was aware that I felt as if body had dissolved below chest; but then thought that it really might have. Went up curb on Church St.; beyond doubt it took no effort at all; the usual effort you feel in lifting feet for steps. Shoes bothered me though; they seemed heavy, holding me down. I know this is silly, but felt scared that if lower part of body was dissolved; and all that was left was chest and shoulder and head region, then I would just fall down; a chest, shoulders, and head on street. Didn’t think I was going to do this; but the image popped into my head. By this time, worried to some degree but still enjoying the delightful...suspension...looked from Walnut Street through yards, to my own windows that showed through trees. Noticed that it seemed that I was floating by...rather than walking. Afraid I might...leave body or something...unprotected in street. Got home. Told Rob. He made me drink coffee, had me sniff ammonia.

(As soon as Jane returned home from doing her errands and mentioned that she still “felt funny”, I suspected that we would see something like a repetition of her adventure of January 10, 1964, Volume 1, page 83. On page 89, in the 100th session, Seth had stated that Jane could allow herself more freedom now, and since she had mentioned the feeling of what she calls ecstasy to me this noon, I thought she was indeed doing more than usual. I also wondered whether she had done too much.

(Again, see my notes on pages 89-90, concerning Jane’s ecstasy. From some of her recent psy-time experiments I had thought she was close to achieving that state again. She had been giving herself suggestion lately, that she would be able to travel psychically, during her experiments. From the following session it will be seen that Jane was correct in thinking that the rushing-out sensation she felt, through the top of her head, was definitely an attempt at traveling.

(Jane was also correct in suspecting that her suggestion to go slowly, after her first ego-alarm, was literally interpreted by her subconscious; hence the later manifestation of symptoms quite a while after her experiment had “ended.” This was much more her idea than mine.

(When she returned home her eyes were very clear, her skin color good, her pulse normal. Her hands also felt normal. Her manner was quite smiling and relaxed and at the same time surprised. I was not concerned particularly, except on the general score that in these experiments I prefer to make haste slowly. She had no trouble talking, although as she walked about at times I noticed a lilt to her step; at other times her knees would bend a little more than usual, as though her legs were rubbery; but to no great degree.

(The effects took some time to wear off. She first began to type up her copy on the experiment at about 2:30 PM, but appeared too relaxed to want to exert much effort in this direction. She had no trouble with coordination, [could type easily enough, etc.] as she had in the January episode, when she could not even use a pen effectively for a time. I felt that even at its height she understood the state she was in, and was not alarmed. She agreed with me that she had overdone it, however, and we spent some time discussing ways in which either of us could appreciate the first warning signals, and halt any experiment that involved too much, too fast.

(Ever since she traveled to her home town, Saratoga, NY, psychically, Jane has wanted to travel again. (See Volume 2, page 65, April 30, 1964.) She believes that her experience today was an effort at travel, and wondered why it was apparently so much more difficult to accomplish now than it was last April. Seth deals with the problem somewhat in the following, 104th, session.)