“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Then, suddenly, the whole thing began. I was laying straight in bed, arms at my sides. Without warning I felt as if the bed was disappearing beneath my hands, as sand will shift away, leaving pockets of nothingness there, that kept enlarging. My thumbs definitely felt as if they were grasping the edge of these holes of nothingness; the holes enlarged further, spreading out beneath. A few minutes later, this is most difficult to describe, I felt a quick definite and physical whoosh outward as if I was suddenly shooting or rushing out through my head, longwise—strong frightening sense of motion and being completely carried away. Instantly panicked and stopped... whatever it was, at least I think I did.

(It’s a terrific autumn day, sunny. Walked perhaps half a block or so. Remember thinking suddenly that Seth might say the following in tonight’s session: Material world of physical matter doesn’t actually exist as such at all, in a real sense. Atoms and molecules etc. are our names for the stuff of which we compose our images or transpose them into apparent validity. Then the next thing I remember is a marvelous feeling of lightness, I felt not so much buoyant as free of resistance; physical resistance. Free of physical bulk, of physical pressures, as say, sometimes we imagine we might have felt sometime in early childhood. This didn’t register at first though; just felt unusually good, enjoying my walk, conscious of the lightness of my step, aware of a satisfying unity with creation.

(Left; started way home. By now, however, felt as if lightness rose through body, and this changed so that suddenly I felt as if lower part of body had dissolved completely, up to chest. No muscular knowledge of carrying bag with three quarts of milk, and book and cigarettes that I’d purchased at all. Suddenly worried; realized for the first time that I wasn’t in state of something like just plain extraordinary good humor or good health or ordinary but unusual exuberance. First, I was aware that I felt as if body had dissolved below chest; but then thought that it really might have. Went up curb on Church St.; beyond doubt it took no effort at all; the usual effort you feel in lifting feet for steps. Shoes bothered me though; they seemed heavy, holding me down. I know this is silly, but felt scared that if lower part of body was dissolved; and all that was left was chest and shoulder and head region, then I would just fall down; a chest, shoulders, and head on street. Didn’t think I was going to do this; but the image popped into my head. By this time, worried to some degree but still enjoying the delightful...suspension...looked from Walnut Street through yards, to my own windows that showed through trees. Noticed that it seemed that I was floating by...rather than walking. Afraid I might...leave body or something...unprotected in street. Got home. Told Rob. He made me drink coffee, had me sniff ammonia.

(Got home about 1:50 PM Feelings continued, though beginning to lessen. At 3 PM though, just after I began writing this all down, went to downstairs front door to see if mailman had come, still felt same sensations though to lesser degree. Rob and I in living room area; I told him about the mailman and all of a sudden I had the odd and striking feeling as I walked around my table that I passed through a “hole of nothingness”—and passed out of it again immediately. It is now 4:15. I feel more like myself now, though tired. In fact, I’m OK now, or close to it.