“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Then I was angry because I had been frightened but was still cautious and didn’t want to get in over my head. Told myself then that I could travel anyplace safely and return safely but that I would go slowly; that I was safe and confident and would welcome such a valid experience. Feeling resumed of bed disappearing beneath my hands. Strong red color behind closed eyelids. Feeling of heat in head, shoulders, back of neck, and then cold in same places. Sense of expanded radius inside closed eyelids. Then felt as if legs, arms, belly...dissolved, I guess is the best description. Feeling of suspension but not of motion. Then the alarm rang, yet still I lay there, had some slight difficulty in opening eyes but did so. Even with eyes open feeling of being suspended continued. Felt some resistance [on chest?] against rising, but decided it was not wise to experiment beyond normal time limit, and got up.

(Was left with light feeling [not a weakness or anything], feeling as if I could rise up bodily, and quite definite sensation of having an empty space above my wrists. Took our cat out though, sat on steps waiting for Rob to come home from work; feeling diminished. Got lunch, told Rob what happened, left house for walk to post office to mail manuscript, and to grocery store. During lunch very slight but noticeable lightness in wrists and hands. Mentioned it, but didn’t think it at all important. Intended to do my errands, come home and write from 1:30 till 4:30.

(It’s a terrific autumn day, sunny. Walked perhaps half a block or so. Remember thinking suddenly that Seth might say the following in tonight’s session: Material world of physical matter doesn’t actually exist as such at all, in a real sense. Atoms and molecules etc. are our names for the stuff of which we compose our images or transpose them into apparent validity. Then the next thing I remember is a marvelous feeling of lightness, I felt not so much buoyant as free of resistance; physical resistance. Free of physical bulk, of physical pressures, as say, sometimes we imagine we might have felt sometime in early childhood. This didn’t register at first though; just felt unusually good, enjoying my walk, conscious of the lightness of my step, aware of a satisfying unity with creation.

(Remember going to post office. Regular store was closed due to death in family, sign on door said this, and a woman going by so informed me. Decided to go to another store though this would make a longer trip than I had planned. Stood on corner to cross street. Telephone company men working on wires; two men high on pole. One man on road. Somehow the wire dropped, came down, falling maybe two feet from where I stood. I never noticed; it didn’t seem important. Ordinarily I would have jumped.

(Left; started way home. By now, however, felt as if lightness rose through body, and this changed so that suddenly I felt as if lower part of body had dissolved completely, up to chest. No muscular knowledge of carrying bag with three quarts of milk, and book and cigarettes that I’d purchased at all. Suddenly worried; realized for the first time that I wasn’t in state of something like just plain extraordinary good humor or good health or ordinary but unusual exuberance. First, I was aware that I felt as if body had dissolved below chest; but then thought that it really might have. Went up curb on Church St.; beyond doubt it took no effort at all; the usual effort you feel in lifting feet for steps. Shoes bothered me though; they seemed heavy, holding me down. I know this is silly, but felt scared that if lower part of body was dissolved; and all that was left was chest and shoulder and head region, then I would just fall down; a chest, shoulders, and head on street. Didn’t think I was going to do this; but the image popped into my head. By this time, worried to some degree but still enjoying the delightful...suspension...looked from Walnut Street through yards, to my own windows that showed through trees. Noticed that it seemed that I was floating by...rather than walking. Afraid I might...leave body or something...unprotected in street. Got home. Told Rob. He made me drink coffee, had me sniff ammonia.