“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Through last week, also, Jane had enjoyed a burst of painting activity after a rather long time away from it. She enjoyed herself doing these pictures very much, and we discussed them at length. She sensed a conflict between what she wanted to portray, and her limited technical abilities in getting the actual images on canvas. I thought her work was better than ever, surprisingly so, and that her ideas were good and her extremely personal handling of them in paint very fresh. Jane persisted in thinking of her paintings as childish.

(Here, I would like to call attention to my dream of September 18, 1964. See page 47. Seth has discussed this dream in considerable detail, without saying much about the opening sequence of the dream. In this opening sequence, Jane, Bill, the members of the Potter family, and myself, were gathered in a living room. I was pulling out some of Jane’s drawings and paintings and showing them to Bill, and Jane, Bill and I were animatedly discussed them. Particularly did we express surprise over their high quality. It then struck me this evening that the discussion between Jane, Bill and I, over Jane’s new work, bore some rather remarkable parallels to that opening dream sequence, and I wondered whether that portion of the dream could have been clairvoyant. Seth may comment on this in the next scheduled session. The main difference between the dream and “reality”, of course, is that the Potter family was not present this evening.

(Since it was getting late, any ESP experimentation this evening seemed improbable. We did discuss the feasibility of trying a “seance” of some kind, without doing anything about it. We were by now rather tired. We discussed the apparition Bill had seen in the bath doorway, described in the 68th session. This in turn led to Bill’s telling of some very vivid and upsetting dreams he had been having in recent days; in these dreams his bedroom had seemed to be peopled by apparitions or strangers, he said, entirely unfamiliar to him. From the recent material we had received on the dream world, I said it sounded as though Bill was in contact with other parts of his inner or whole self.

(It will be recalled that at various times Seth has said that Bill Macdonnel has much natural psychic ability, and that it is largely untrained. Seth stated that Bill was gifted in many lines of psychic ability, among them the perception of apparitions. Seth also stated that Jane and I did not see as much as we might because we were both too “fussy” about what we would allow ourselves to see.

(I would like to say here that recently Jane had remarked, several times, that she would feel better if she herself could see some physical evidence of psychic phenomena. She had not seen the apparition, nor of course had I, and she had not been able to see the change in her features, again described in the 68th session. Even though I reminded her that she was the prime mover in the sessions, she still expressed the wish to “see something” that would “prove” to her that the material was legitimate. We both remembered of course that long ago Seth had said in no uncertain terms that he was not in favor of demonstrations for demonstrations’ sake, and that he would not perform on call.

(I then became aware, at 11:00 PM, that Jane had fallen silent. She sat on the divan, her legs drawn up beneath her, across the coffee table from me. Her expression was smiling but fixed. She stared at me. I saw that her eyes had grown very dark beneath the lower lids, a rather peculiar manifestation that cleared up shortly after she began dictation. Jane held a cigarette but seemed to be unaware of it. She had taken her glasses off.

(I had an impulse to try to get back to my studio to get some paper and a pen; this was followed by another impulse—to forget about notes for a change, even though Jane was obviously about ready to give a session. I followed the latter course, since she seemed unconcerned about whether notes would be taken. Bill and I waited. Jane began dictation in a rather strong voice that was pitched somewhat lower than normal, and maintained it for the whole of the session. She remained seated throughout. As soon as she began to speak she closed her eyes, and to my continuing surprise she kept her eyes closed throughout the session, except for one brief instant that shall be mentioned later. There followed a rather strange procedure, for when Jane addressed either Bill or myself she kept her eyes closed but faced the pertinent one, and gestured in the correct direction also. After a while one tended to forget that her eyes were closed, since there was no evidence of confusion on her part. In addition, the closed eyes played a part in an interesting little development that will also be mentioned later.

(As soon as the session was over I began notes on it, and covered the range of material given. Since what follows is reconstructed from memory it is to some extent out of chronological order. I found that I could write out rather easily an abridged version of the material Seth covered, and did not miss any of the major points. Undoubtedly I missed some minor asides, and changed phrasing and punctuation. Yet I feel that what follows is a good account.)

Ruburt has been in search of discipline. He was always in search of the discipline he lacked. His intuitions were always very strong. Well, now he has his discipline, but it has been overdone. It has come to hamper the very strong intuitions, and it must be lessened. Spontaneity, inner spontaneity must be restored. He is now doing better with his psychological time experiments, and he must let this spontaneity expand into other aspects of his life. Ruburt must be fully committed to these sessions for them to accelerate in scope.

(As Jane delivered the above material in quite an animated fashion, Bill picked up a piece of paper lying on the coffee table, and Jane’s pen. He made a quick sketch on the back of the already used paper and passed it to me. I saw that he had roughed out Jane’s features, stressing her closed eyes. I also saw that he had drawn, upon the closed upper eyelid, an iris, thus superimposing upon Jane’s closed eye an open one. I nodded to Bill to show that I understood that he was seeing an eye or eyes upon Jane’s closed lids.)

(Telling us about his recent dream and apparition experiences, Bill had mentioned that at times when his eyes were closed he was aware of the feeling of a white light, or glow, that varied in intensity at different times. Jane was interested in this description because it tallied with an effect she attains quite often in psychological time experiments—this feeling of a light within, even though the eyelids are squeezed tightly shut. At times Jane has seen images after the appearance of this inner light, but Bill has seen only the light. I have experienced this type of inner glow on a few isolated occasions, but have seen few images in this manner.)

Ruburt’s psychological time experience recently was correct, in that he will soon hear about a sale. I cannot tell you more about this now.

(I did not think to note the time the session ended, but certainly it was within half an hour. Jane said Seth knocked her out quickly, and that it was her deepest trance except for the self-induced one of January 10, 1964. See Volume 1, page 83. Yet as usual she could hear herself speaking, although she could not follow the sense of what she was saying, nor did she try to.

(Later, resting on bed after work with eyes closed, saw a quick but rather violent vision of a round, very bright daylight-type light. But this light seemed to be clearer than daylight, and to be almost like a mirror that was reflecting another mirror. At the same time it spun around, or else the dark area around it spun around, with a sudden violence that actually made me dizzy. Yet the whole thing was incredibly brief.)

(November 2, Monday, 5 PM: Varied sensations upon lying down for a nap. My legs felt as though the bed was bent downward beneath them. Then chest felt quite strongly as though it was scooped out on the left side. This was very definite. My hands grew thick and fat upon the backs, as though they would lift out of themselves. I saw many varied female heads, rather vague, mostly facing to my right. I had my sensation and heard vague voices.)