“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Through last week, also, Jane had enjoyed a burst of painting activity after a rather long time away from it. She enjoyed herself doing these pictures very much, and we discussed them at length. She sensed a conflict between what she wanted to portray, and her limited technical abilities in getting the actual images on canvas. I thought her work was better than ever, surprisingly so, and that her ideas were good and her extremely personal handling of them in paint very fresh. Jane persisted in thinking of her paintings as childish.

(Since it was getting late, any ESP experimentation this evening seemed improbable. We did discuss the feasibility of trying a “seance” of some kind, without doing anything about it. We were by now rather tired. We discussed the apparition Bill had seen in the bath doorway, described in the 68th session. This in turn led to Bill’s telling of some very vivid and upsetting dreams he had been having in recent days; in these dreams his bedroom had seemed to be peopled by apparitions or strangers, he said, entirely unfamiliar to him. From the recent material we had received on the dream world, I said it sounded as though Bill was in contact with other parts of his inner or whole self.

(Now as the discussion progressed the three of us sat in the living room around our coffee table, staring into the open bath door and exchanging half-joking remarks about apparitions. Bill then announced that he sensed the “feeling of a form” within the doorway, in the same manner detailed in the 68th session, except not to that degree. Jane and I could see nothing, as before.

Ruburt has been in search of discipline. He was always in search of the discipline he lacked. His intuitions were always very strong. Well, now he has his discipline, but it has been overdone. It has come to hamper the very strong intuitions, and it must be lessened. Spontaneity, inner spontaneity must be restored. He is now doing better with his psychological time experiments, and he must let this spontaneity expand into other aspects of his life. Ruburt must be fully committed to these sessions for them to accelerate in scope.

Mark, you need discipline, but it is discipline that you will acquire in living. And here let me say that Ruburt’s strong feelings are correct. Ruburt knows what he knows. You should move into your gallery as soon as possible. You will be asked to give shows of your paintings by two people whom you should refuse; you will be asked to give shows by other people, whose invitations you should accept. It will be up to you to use your inner knowledge, your intuitions, in determining which persons to refuse and which to accept.

(Telling us about his recent dream and apparition experiences, Bill had mentioned that at times when his eyes were closed he was aware of the feeling of a white light, or glow, that varied in intensity at different times. Jane was interested in this description because it tallied with an effect she attains quite often in psychological time experiments—this feeling of a light within, even though the eyelids are squeezed tightly shut. At times Jane has seen images after the appearance of this inner light, but Bill has seen only the light. I have experienced this type of inner glow on a few isolated occasions, but have seen few images in this manner.)

If it is physical effects you want then I will go along. After all, I must please Ruburt to some extent, since without him I could not speak. The reason that his paintings upset him is that they reflect his inner knowledge, of which he is well aware. It is true that his poetry does also, and over the years he has come to take this for granted. But the paintings, especially the late ones which are so much improved over his earlier efforts, are new to him. And since he is still a doubter of the material, he sees this inner knowledge in a new light, and is upset.

(I did not think to note the time the session ended, but certainly it was within half an hour. Jane said Seth knocked her out quickly, and that it was her deepest trance except for the self-induced one of January 10, 1964. See Volume 1, page 83. Yet as usual she could hear herself speaking, although she could not follow the sense of what she was saying, nor did she try to.