“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

I was glad to see that Ruburt began the back exercises once more. The quietude and relaxation derived from them is excellent. Also a certain training in concentration is achieved.

This is going to be in some respects a relaxed session. I want to point out that the back exercises, because of the quietude and training in concentration, represent excellent practices for both of you, and for Ruburt in particular. His old thyroid condition has cleared up. What remains is again merely habit, although it was once closely connected to a physical disorder.

At once our Ruburt is like a porcupine, feeling trapped and prickling all over, eyes glaring, and attitude more prickly than a porcupine’s quills. The fact that Ruburt considers the man an ass, helped, because Ruburt could then justify his own conditioned reflex toward authority; and keep in mind other material I have given you concerning Ruburt and the gallery.

It is also true that during certain periods of the month his hormones are more active, since he inhabits, and is, a woman this time. He also turned down rather coldly the man’s innocent enough invitation that you visit his home. You were indeed busy that evening, but this was not the reason for Ruburt’s refusal.

He is bound to set himself up as aloof and superior to the man in charge. He may be superior in many ways, but certainly not in all respects, and his disdainful reactions would naturally affect the poor new director. About him I will have something to say. Nevertheless you were right, Joseph, and certainly Ruburt’s attitude is at least partially to blame.

This indeed can be remedied, since Ruburt now is wise to it. The exercises and all the other measures which he has learned will stand him in good stead. The brooding, resentful inner mulling over of gallery problems is a tip-off that the panic bomb has been set off. But in this case he has thrown it out the window.

In earlier years such a situation was faced by Ruburt in a blind panic run from one end of the continent to another. So we may say that he has improved.

It is extremely difficult for Ruburt not to throw himself wholeheartedly and completely into whatever it is he is doing; and so it is no wonder that now and again he loses his fairly adequate detachment on a job. But then he feels himself engulfed.

At the gallery, Ruburt interprets everything now between himself and the new director in terms of implied superiority or inferiority.

He, your director, has gamely held his ground. His insistence upon detail Ruburt takes as personal offense. The man is simply a stickler for detail. He is not rubbing Ruburt’s nose in every misspelled word, nor is he suggesting, as Ruburt suspects, that Ruburt is a mental numbskull because he is a poor speller.

Privately, your director can see no reason why anyone who is educated cannot spell properly, but he has bent over backward not to give this impression. Out of pure perversity Ruburt has refused to learn how to spell. If authority says spell a word one way, Ruburt defiantly spells it another.

He tends them so that they will guard him. They protect him from inner impulses. They are the pickets of his fence. They hide the inner extravagance which he fears, gives in to in partially accepted ways. He thrives on praise; so, true to form, the giant killer Ruburt insults him to his face.

He could be vindictive if treated in this manner for long, as rejection of the type that Ruburt is handing out frightens and confuses him. Ruburt is usually at least fair. The man has rather glaring faults, it is true, but they are not deadly ones. Nor would a bit of kindness be demeaning Ruburt.

He, Ruburt, definitely thinks it would be. He can be extremely unbending, but I believe that this session will help matters considerably. I am speaking now of the situation as it exists in the present. Ruburt was jealous for his own authority at the gallery. He did not want to accept full responsibility for the gallery, and yet he wanted definite responsibility along definite, limited lines.

This session should certainly help clear the situation generally, and certainly help Ruburt distinguish real grievances from projected ones. Ruburt can at least be pleasant. It should also help to still his frequent tirades at home against the gallery; but when his emotions do overflow or have overflown into speech, it has been beneficial, very much more so than if he had let them build up into a storm of frightening proportions.

This, however, should begin to fade out. It would do no harm to invite the man for a drink in your home, though I admit that to either of you the suggestion amounts to a treason of sorts. It would do you, Joseph, no harm to allow him in your house, where you could size him up for yourself. One simple well-meant invitation might be in order—and this was hell to get through, with Ruburt’s blocks.

It might even help Ruburt to see the director when he was not in a position of authority that he felt honor bound to uphold. I did not mean to take the whole session up with private matter. Nevertheless it is well that this material came through.

There is more that I would say, but I have aroused Ruburt enough for one night. He will get tense from blocking me if we continue along these lines.

We will resume full blast on matter and its nature at our next session. I did want to make one point. The back exercises and the subsequent calmness will hasten the time when Ruburt is able to dispense with a dependence upon cigarettes.

A small note. I mentioned before that Ruburt will definitely benefit from a vacation, and you should travel someplace. I suggest near or to a large body of water, most preferably the ocean.

The trip to your glen helped Ruburt to an amazing degree, and such small trips are excellent psychic refreshers, and also good for your work. Much of this material is not startling this evening, but it is necessary, and you will gain by taking it to heart.

I will now bid you a fond good evening. I am with you fairly often in one way or another, and my affection for you both is deep. I would most strongly recommend the back exercises, actually for you both, but definitely for Ruburt.