“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

This is going to be in some respects a relaxed session. I want to point out that the back exercises, because of the quietude and training in concentration, represent excellent practices for both of you, and for Ruburt in particular. His old thyroid condition has cleared up. What remains is again merely habit, although it was once closely connected to a physical disorder.

He is learning presently, and very well, to control this sometime condition; and it dwindles, to appear only occasionally in times of stress. Daily use of those particular back exercises, with their mental discipline, will further aid in his development, until he will find indeed that he can not only relax at will, but even when he does not have time to will relaxation, that is, relaxation will be the built-in conditioned reflex that panic used to be.

I do not mean, of course, that he will automatically turn into a jellyfish when a good fight may be called for. The use of psychological time, to some large degree, also performs this function. If he had set out, and he didn’t, to plan a process that would enable him to use his abilities to the fullest in his writing and other fields in which he is interested, and yet to discipline himself so that he did not scatter his abilities, if he had set out on a plan toward maturity, and to set definite controls upon his sometimes too fast, out-of-proportion responses, he could not have found a better path than the one which he is now following.

The use of full intuition with discipline and control, and a daily schedule that includes contemplation and a temporary relaxation and slowing down of bodily process, [means] he will live longer because of this, and his work will be deeper and of greater import.

I mention this particularly because of his panic reactions last week at the gallery. You may include this material or not in the records, as you choose. He fears authority. This fear of authority is one of the reasons for his admirable independence of mind and spirit.

It is also the reason for many of his problems in the past, and to a much lesser degree in the present. His mother, representing authority to him as a child, was frightening, threatening, sometimes cruel, and capricious. The child took literally the mother’s statements that though a cripple, she could walk at night, would turn on the gas jets, and so forth.

At once our Ruburt is like a porcupine, feeling trapped and prickling all over, eyes glaring, and attitude more prickly than a porcupine’s quills. The fact that Ruburt considers the man an ass, helped, because Ruburt could then justify his own conditioned reflex toward authority; and keep in mind other material I have given you concerning Ruburt and the gallery.

It is also true that during certain periods of the month his hormones are more active, since he inhabits, and is, a woman this time. He also turned down rather coldly the man’s innocent enough invitation that you visit his home. You were indeed busy that evening, but this was not the reason for Ruburt’s refusal.

He is bound to set himself up as aloof and superior to the man in charge. He may be superior in many ways, but certainly not in all respects, and his disdainful reactions would naturally affect the poor new director. About him I will have something to say. Nevertheless you were right, Joseph, and certainly Ruburt’s attitude is at least partially to blame.

It is extremely difficult for Ruburt not to throw himself wholeheartedly and completely into whatever it is he is doing; and so it is no wonder that now and again he loses his fairly adequate detachment on a job. But then he feels himself engulfed.

He, your director, has gamely held his ground. His insistence upon detail Ruburt takes as personal offense. The man is simply a stickler for detail. He is not rubbing Ruburt’s nose in every misspelled word, nor is he suggesting, as Ruburt suspects, that Ruburt is a mental numbskull because he is a poor speller.

At the same time he chooses words as the basis for his art. Here he gets back at authority. He communicates to the authoritative world at large original, excellent, sharp and concisive ideas, through words that are consistently misspelled.

I am not suggesting that he throw bouquets or roses at his rather flowery-attired male director, but he can at least hold back the daggers. You may find that the man can be most enjoyable in the future. He is extremely insecure, hiding behind compulsive attention to details.

He tends them so that they will guard him. They protect him from inner impulses. They are the pickets of his fence. They hide the inner extravagance which he fears, gives in to in partially accepted ways. He thrives on praise; so, true to form, the giant killer Ruburt insults him to his face.

He, Ruburt, definitely thinks it would be. He can be extremely unbending, but I believe that this session will help matters considerably. I am speaking now of the situation as it exists in the present. Ruburt was jealous for his own authority at the gallery. He did not want to accept full responsibility for the gallery, and yet he wanted definite responsibility along definite, limited lines.

He looks for satisfaction for his ego in the outside world when it has been bruised because of a rejection slip. Torrents of energy, both constructive and aggressive, suddenly are let loose where he works, and woe to all around.

If he is not able to see himself at all times as a successful, earning writer, then he feels like a fool in other areas also, and is suddenly enraged over situations at the gallery which, while not the best, hardly bother him at all when he is selling his writing.

This session should certainly help clear the situation generally, and certainly help Ruburt distinguish real grievances from projected ones. Ruburt can at least be pleasant. It should also help to still his frequent tirades at home against the gallery; but when his emotions do overflow or have overflown into speech, it has been beneficial, very much more so than if he had let them build up into a storm of frightening proportions.