“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

I do not mean, of course, that he will automatically turn into a jellyfish when a good fight may be called for. The use of psychological time, to some large degree, also performs this function. If he had set out, and he didn’t, to plan a process that would enable him to use his abilities to the fullest in his writing and other fields in which he is interested, and yet to discipline himself so that he did not scatter his abilities, if he had set out on a plan toward maturity, and to set definite controls upon his sometimes too fast, out-of-proportion responses, he could not have found a better path than the one which he is now following.

It is also the reason for many of his problems in the past, and to a much lesser degree in the present. His mother, representing authority to him as a child, was frightening, threatening, sometimes cruel, and capricious. The child took literally the mother’s statements that though a cripple, she could walk at night, would turn on the gas jets, and so forth.

He is bound to set himself up as aloof and superior to the man in charge. He may be superior in many ways, but certainly not in all respects, and his disdainful reactions would naturally affect the poor new director. About him I will have something to say. Nevertheless you were right, Joseph, and certainly Ruburt’s attitude is at least partially to blame.

This indeed can be remedied, since Ruburt now is wise to it. The exercises and all the other measures which he has learned will stand him in good stead. The brooding, resentful inner mulling over of gallery problems is a tip-off that the panic bomb has been set off. But in this case he has thrown it out the window.

He can’t crack a smile without fearing that this will be taken as a sign of apple polishing, because apple polishing of course implies a feeling of inferiority on the part of the apple polisher. To make sure that no such impression can be given by him, he resorts to sarcasm, and upon a few occasions downright rudeness, that is bound to make the receiver less than happy.

He tends them so that they will guard him. They protect him from inner impulses. They are the pickets of his fence. They hide the inner extravagance which he fears, gives in to in partially accepted ways. He thrives on praise; so, true to form, the giant killer Ruburt insults him to his face.

He could be vindictive if treated in this manner for long, as rejection of the type that Ruburt is handing out frightens and confuses him. Ruburt is usually at least fair. The man has rather glaring faults, it is true, but they are not deadly ones. Nor would a bit of kindness be demeaning Ruburt.

When he has not sold any stories or books for a while, then he looks around for other ego satisfactions in the outside world, in other fields, for which he is actually not willing to pay the price. He is just not that interested in any career outside of writing. Had the ESP book been instantly grabbed up, nothing at the gallery would have bothered him.

He starts fighting for position and authority, for which under ordinary circumstances he couldn’t care less. This is confusing to those who work with him. This is not to say that he does not have grievances, or that he is not worth more money, but he wants more money for prestige reasons, rather than practical ones.

If he is not able to see himself at all times as a successful, earning writer, then he feels like a fool in other areas also, and is suddenly enraged over situations at the gallery which, while not the best, hardly bother him at all when he is selling his writing.

(Break at 10:11. Jane was dissociated as usual. Again, she had not been bothered by the heat while dictating. She said that even when Seth is talking about her, when she is balling herself out so to speak, she has no urge to interrupt him in her own behalf or defense.

This, however, should begin to fade out. It would do no harm to invite the man for a drink in your home, though I admit that to either of you the suggestion amounts to a treason of sorts. It would do you, Joseph, no harm to allow him in your house, where you could size him up for yourself. One simple well-meant invitation might be in order—and this was hell to get through, with Ruburt’s blocks.