“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

I mention this particularly because of his panic reactions last week at the gallery. You may include this material or not in the records, as you choose. He fears authority. This fear of authority is one of the reasons for his admirable independence of mind and spirit.

At once our Ruburt is like a porcupine, feeling trapped and prickling all over, eyes glaring, and attitude more prickly than a porcupine’s quills. The fact that Ruburt considers the man an ass, helped, because Ruburt could then justify his own conditioned reflex toward authority; and keep in mind other material I have given you concerning Ruburt and the gallery.

This indeed can be remedied, since Ruburt now is wise to it. The exercises and all the other measures which he has learned will stand him in good stead. The brooding, resentful inner mulling over of gallery problems is a tip-off that the panic bomb has been set off. But in this case he has thrown it out the window.

At the gallery, Ruburt interprets everything now between himself and the new director in terms of implied superiority or inferiority.

He, Ruburt, definitely thinks it would be. He can be extremely unbending, but I believe that this session will help matters considerably. I am speaking now of the situation as it exists in the present. Ruburt was jealous for his own authority at the gallery. He did not want to accept full responsibility for the gallery, and yet he wanted definite responsibility along definite, limited lines.

When he has not sold any stories or books for a while, then he looks around for other ego satisfactions in the outside world, in other fields, for which he is actually not willing to pay the price. He is just not that interested in any career outside of writing. Had the ESP book been instantly grabbed up, nothing at the gallery would have bothered him.

If he is not able to see himself at all times as a successful, earning writer, then he feels like a fool in other areas also, and is suddenly enraged over situations at the gallery which, while not the best, hardly bother him at all when he is selling his writing.

This session should certainly help clear the situation generally, and certainly help Ruburt distinguish real grievances from projected ones. Ruburt can at least be pleasant. It should also help to still his frequent tirades at home against the gallery; but when his emotions do overflow or have overflown into speech, it has been beneficial, very much more so than if he had let them build up into a storm of frightening proportions.