“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Here we will most probably run into some difficulty, but I will try to explain what I mean, and will clear up any questions later. As the self has an inner and an outer ego, so also does the inside finally become the outside. Theoretically for example, if followed through, a deep trance leading to a deeper inside so to speak, would bring you ultimately to another outside. The outer ego for example would meet the inner ego, and vice versa.

You may if you wish consider the quality-depth principle as blowing like a wind through the spacious present, it indeed being like a wind in that it is known by its effects; and if you must think of it visually it would, perhaps, have a funnel shape. All of these concepts are most difficult to translate into word patterns.

Whenever dates are mentioned, incidentally, I would suggest caution and attention, regardless of the reason given or the person to whom the date is supposed to be significant. This is good general practice. A few times, because Ruburt was so upset, I managed to console him by saying that he wasn’t pregnant when he rather feared that he might be. But you are not after all supposed to depend upon me, but to develop your own insights, and also to gain from your own mistakes and experience. This is why I do not give you gaudy predictions.

Any serious illness possible or probable in Ruburt’s present existence would have occurred in his youth, at the age of 15, when a severe psychic crisis threatened. A serious illness was possible for you, Joseph, at the age of 33, and was averted. However, in all cases even minor physical nuisances deplete energy. Energy is yours for the asking, as you know, but you must know enough to ask.

I tell you this so that you will know that if the sudden disruption of your quiet apartment is a sign of such aggression, its sudden aftermath is often a sign for stiff necks and sore gums. It would be much easier, I should think, in the long run for Ruburt to direct his aggression against the proper persons, where at least it will be understood. Editors like other human beings know when they are lax.

Incidentally my dear Joseph, I overheard you as you made a rather sardonic remark concerning my statement that you would have more energy as you needed it. All allusions to the contrary, such is the case; and only your attitude, which is more or less natural under the circumstances, holds you back.

This was the reason for your serious physical trouble. It would not have been so serious except that in the stable as a child, you could not understand how or why your father would so inflict pain upon the horse, slamming the hot shoe upon the wounded foot. You identified in terror with the animal, and hence when you stepped on the nail for a moment the identification brought on the physical condition.

The horse-serum base given you therefore only made the situation worse. This caused your violent physical reaction. The touch of paralysis was a result of your earlier paralysis of fear—would your father treat you in the same manner?

(Before giving me the shot in his office, the doctor gave me a skin test for sensitivity, which proved negative. But three days later while driving in downtown Los Angeles I was seized with severe stomach cramps. I barely made it home, and spent the next month recuperating from a violent reaction to the horse-serum-based shot. I could not walk for perhaps a week. I now must carry a warning card in my wallet, and have been told another such shot would probably be fatal.