“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

You would have had difficulty also had you stayed in Sayre on returning from Florida. You cannot allow these things to inhibit your spirit, but your mother cannot understand a man who does not have what she considers the ordinary social responsibilities.

Even Loren’s dillydallying with trains is a compensation for the envied, almost magical to him, abilities of an older brother. If you can understand this you will see his natural desire to supersede you in the affections of your mother. He never could compete with you in this respect, and it has made its mark. If he seems womanish at times, fussy and vindictive, it is for this and other reasons—not your fault in any way yet nevertheless a fact.

Dick, being so much younger, saw no reason why he should be able to compete. He identified with you and loved you. His wife is a great help to him, but so far he has not fully developed his intellectual capacities, for many reasons, and he has a tendency to blame her for it. Outside of your mother who left her mark very strongly on you, you have been the dominant active psychic member of your family, exerting very strong influence on all.

Your father somewhat resented your seemingly magical projections of reality into paintings, since he worked futilely in the realm of material inventions and got nowhere. He also, to a much greater degree than you, never trusted his instincts, although they were very strong. Your mother had much to do with this and so did his own mother.

I do wish to show you how things happen or almost happen. There are always clear reasons, though not necessarily clear causes. Loren is as lucky in his way with his wife as you are in yours. I will go into Ruburt’s background later. It does not have as immediate implications however since she, or he, has erected his own barriers along these lines, and the parents are not so involved as far as distance is concerned. Ruburt, or Jane, amputated the present mother for necessity’s sake and for survival’s sake.