“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Many of Malba’s suggestions along the lines of sleep and the subconscious were very good and should be followed. If you are worried about water dripping in your room by all means investigate. We will wait.

First of all if you’ll forgive me, I would like to go into the situations culminating in your illness of this time last winter. Your psychic state of nervousness, fear, lack of confidence and lack of focus as far as utilizing your artistic abilities were concerned, began to build up like many encircling walls. The ego imprisoned you more and more. Your subconscious healing abilities and the hidden subconscious vitality beneath became dammed up, seemingly with no means of release.

The ego must sit lightly, otherwise it can smother the talent that lies beneath. This is very properly your talent, your talent as a personality at this particular time. However, you are also more than you know. Your subconscious is a greater part of you than you know, and the ego is nothing more than the topmost portion of the subconscious. There is after all no dividing line, and you are as much your subconscious as you are your ego, and more.

These fears do not belong to the subconscious. Then these materializations of panic and pain play about the physical body, projected by the ego and stealing the powers of the subconscious mind from their natural constructive tasks to do so. In other words, the ego becomes a tool to disrupt rather than to create.

In the past you did not understand properly this relationship. You understood the destructive tendencies but you placed them in the subconscious. The endless or seemingly endless circle need not occur now, or in the future. This dissociation of which Ruburt has spoken to you is an excellent discipline that will insure your use of energy in the best possible manner. I am not suggesting that the ego be ignored in any manner, merely that the tool is not allowed to become the master.

You see, dear Joseph, the subconscious and the ego, of course, are both you. For simplicity’s sake I will speak of the ego and the subconscious, though they are actually one. The subconscious forms and projects the materializations of the ego as a tool to enable it to attain its goals. When these goals and talents are attributed to the ego alone they are so to speak decapitated.

Your own subconscious is the fountain of your individuality and personality. From it springs your talent. When the ego becomes too concerned with daily matters, with worry in other words, then the works of the tool become clogged. It becomes ineffective. Dissociation, and I will give you many ways of achieving it, unclogs the tool and is absolutely necessary. The freely working subconscious, or the inner you, is completely capable of taking care of all practical considerations, and will use the ego as a tool to see that this is done.

A trip of course was the easiest method and Ruburt hit upon it. Daily methods of dissociation are extremely practical and beneficial. You will notice within a few week’s time, if not sooner, an added energy. So-called impulses on your part are often quelled because your ego finds them impractical. The subconscious knows its own meat and sauce, and the best means for its own nourishment.

Begin the yoga exercises and follow them faithfully. Your few experiences with autosuggestion upon falling asleep have been ego-bound. Think of this in terms of muscle-bound and you will see what I mean. Be in a drowsy state and suggest, Ruburt, suggest, Joseph; do not attempt to bully or command the subconscious. Suggestions are all that are needed. Your love of nature, Joseph, and Ruburt your love of nature, is another method of dissociation, or can be if you use it as such.

To be afraid of the shortage of time is to hoard it. To hoard it is to strangle it. But to respect time is not to hoard it, but to let each moment enlarge so that it becomes more than a moment, and only the strong freedom of your subconscious drives can achieve this.

This of course happened at a young age. At the same time as a young child you almost adored your mother. This led to these conflicting feelings toward freedom of the subconscious and of the imagination. Reinforcing this unfortunate circumstance, we have the carry-over distrust of impulse from the Denmark existence. Ordinarily the last life before this would have adequately compensated for the Denmark experience, but the mother situation in this life reawakened the fear of giving in to impulse, and tended to overstrengthen the desire for discipline, which was based on fear.

I do want to congratulate you Joseph if you can believe it after how hard I’ve hit. But you have been making great strides, and believe it or not the increased freedom of your subconscious mind will give you added energy and personal practical solutions far more beneficial than you would have dreamed possible in the past. I do not really want to leave now. I get wound up.