“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Nevertheless, the ego is the tool by which the hidden self manipulates in the physical universe as you know it. The ego enables you to use or focus your artistic ability along the lines necessary to make it effective on your plane. However when the ego becomes involved with fears to a greater or lesser extent, it ceases to be an effective tool and becomes instead a hammer hitting you incessantly over the head.

Now when this ego becomes overly concerned over practical matters it becomes overly conditioned to negative responses. The outer senses are not as quick or as fluent. The creative energies build up their thickly-dimensioned pseudorealities of pain. For a certain amount of time, according to your condition, they automatically create the patterns of fear that belong to the ego.

The tree on Jane’s kitchen wall is very nice, and it is also significant as far as your opening up is concerned. I cannot say that Ruburt would go mad over a painting on a kitchen wall, or anything else on a kitchen wall, but then Jane is a different Ruburt all over again.

I would suggest also, though I don’t mean to be presumptuous, that you ask Mr. Clauss over, where he can get a good look at your paintings. He may not be Santa Claus, but it will do no harm.

This of course happened at a young age. At the same time as a young child you almost adored your mother. This led to these conflicting feelings toward freedom of the subconscious and of the imagination. Reinforcing this unfortunate circumstance, we have the carry-over distrust of impulse from the Denmark existence. Ordinarily the last life before this would have adequately compensated for the Denmark experience, but the mother situation in this life reawakened the fear of giving in to impulse, and tended to overstrengthen the desire for discipline, which was based on fear.

Also her strong feeling that you should borrow money and get an apartment or flat or whatever you call it, was the best advice you could have been given. She was vehement and in tears over this on one occasion. Again this did not seem a practical solution. Looking back, can you not agree with me that it was a much more practical solution than the one you ultimately chose?

If it seems I am hitting you over the head with a small hammer, it is only because tonight I am dealing with you. Ruburt, believe me, will get his turn. This material is meant in no way to corrode your confidence, but to show you past mistakes which you have already begun to remedy. More than others, the two of you operate as a team. For this reason it is necessary that you understand what your particular strengths and weaknesses are, and to know in which field of endeavor you can depend upon various abilities and avoid various pitfalls.