“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now when this ego becomes overly concerned over practical matters it becomes overly conditioned to negative responses. The outer senses are not as quick or as fluent. The creative energies build up their thickly-dimensioned pseudorealities of pain. For a certain amount of time, according to your condition, they automatically create the patterns of fear that belong to the ego.

Your own subconscious is the fountain of your individuality and personality. From it springs your talent. When the ego becomes too concerned with daily matters, with worry in other words, then the works of the tool become clogged. It becomes ineffective. Dissociation, and I will give you many ways of achieving it, unclogs the tool and is absolutely necessary. The freely working subconscious, or the inner you, is completely capable of taking care of all practical considerations, and will use the ego as a tool to see that this is done.

Your discipline in working habits and in living habits is admirable. Through your past life, that is the life before this one, you progressed along these lines. You do not have to forge them with steel now. They are sufficiently strong and dependable. You do not have to feel that they will let you down. Now for your own sake and for the sake of the art that you follow, you must allow yourself more inner freedom. There is a tendency in your present personality for forging discipline into a bond that could tie down your strong creative tendencies. It is true you needed controls. Now you have them. You stamped down upon your impulses with a frenzy, since once you felt they betrayed you.

Nevertheless the two of you interact, and because Ruburt is strongly intuitional at times he is a help to you. And at other times Ruburt senses your state of mind even before it materializes, and this sends Ruburt into an overanxious state which is not beneficial to either of you.

The particular atmosphere surrounding your personalities just prior to the animals’ deaths was destructive, short-circuited and filled with inner panics. I do not want to hurt your feelings. This is, I am sorry to say, a natural occurrence on your plane. The fact is that the animals caught your emotional contagion, and according to their lesser abilities translated it for themselves.

Animals, like people, sense when they are a burden, and the dog sensed that he was a burden, and also something of a nuisance. I would have preferred that you did not ask me this question, but since you did and since you both loved the dog, it deserves an answer.

From Ruburt you are receiving needed freedoms and necessary confidence in your own intuitional powers. There are strange aspects, or should I say contradictory aspects, in your personality. For instance intuitively you have always felt a unity with nature, yet at the same time you distrusted what could not be proven in material terms. You had a natural affinity with things behind nature, that is you sensed the spirit of nature, and at the same time you had a tendency to distrust what you could not actually see, smell or touch.

This is certainly contradictory. Fantasy left you cold. I say this icily. Intellectually you would have no part in it, yet your imagination spun its fantastic web despite the fact that you believed in neither fantasy or web. Your artwork showed promise from the beginning. Your imagination was rich and varied. But you so feared your present mother’s sense of exaggeration, that led often to sheer though unwitting lies and dishonesty, that you denied the capacity of the imagination lest it also lead you into ways of deceit.