“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

First of all if you’ll forgive me, I would like to go into the situations culminating in your illness of this time last winter. Your psychic state of nervousness, fear, lack of confidence and lack of focus as far as utilizing your artistic abilities were concerned, began to build up like many encircling walls. The ego imprisoned you more and more. Your subconscious healing abilities and the hidden subconscious vitality beneath became dammed up, seemingly with no means of release.

The ego, as I have said before, is extremely important. It is however only a part of what you call yourself. Your artistic ability does not belong to your ego, dear Joseph, though I understand as I speak that anyone on your plane identifies himself with his ego, and when he says “I am,” he means he is his ego, or his ego is.

Nevertheless, the ego is the tool by which the hidden self manipulates in the physical universe as you know it. The ego enables you to use or focus your artistic ability along the lines necessary to make it effective on your plane. However when the ego becomes involved with fears to a greater or lesser extent, it ceases to be an effective tool and becomes instead a hammer hitting you incessantly over the head.

The ego must sit lightly, otherwise it can smother the talent that lies beneath. This is very properly your talent, your talent as a personality at this particular time. However, you are also more than you know. Your subconscious is a greater part of you than you know, and the ego is nothing more than the topmost portion of the subconscious. There is after all no dividing line, and you are as much your subconscious as you are your ego, and more.

Now when this ego becomes overly concerned over practical matters it becomes overly conditioned to negative responses. The outer senses are not as quick or as fluent. The creative energies build up their thickly-dimensioned pseudorealities of pain. For a certain amount of time, according to your condition, they automatically create the patterns of fear that belong to the ego.

These fears do not belong to the subconscious. Then these materializations of panic and pain play about the physical body, projected by the ego and stealing the powers of the subconscious mind from their natural constructive tasks to do so. In other words, the ego becomes a tool to disrupt rather than to create.

In the past you did not understand properly this relationship. You understood the destructive tendencies but you placed them in the subconscious. The endless or seemingly endless circle need not occur now, or in the future. This dissociation of which Ruburt has spoken to you is an excellent discipline that will insure your use of energy in the best possible manner. I am not suggesting that the ego be ignored in any manner, merely that the tool is not allowed to become the master.

You see, dear Joseph, the subconscious and the ego, of course, are both you. For simplicity’s sake I will speak of the ego and the subconscious, though they are actually one. The subconscious forms and projects the materializations of the ego as a tool to enable it to attain its goals. When these goals and talents are attributed to the ego alone they are so to speak decapitated.

Your own subconscious is the fountain of your individuality and personality. From it springs your talent. When the ego becomes too concerned with daily matters, with worry in other words, then the works of the tool become clogged. It becomes ineffective. Dissociation, and I will give you many ways of achieving it, unclogs the tool and is absolutely necessary. The freely working subconscious, or the inner you, is completely capable of taking care of all practical considerations, and will use the ego as a tool to see that this is done.

A trip of course was the easiest method and Ruburt hit upon it. Daily methods of dissociation are extremely practical and beneficial. You will notice within a few week’s time, if not sooner, an added energy. So-called impulses on your part are often quelled because your ego finds them impractical. The subconscious knows its own meat and sauce, and the best means for its own nourishment.

Begin the yoga exercises and follow them faithfully. Your few experiences with autosuggestion upon falling asleep have been ego-bound. Think of this in terms of muscle-bound and you will see what I mean. Be in a drowsy state and suggest, Ruburt, suggest, Joseph; do not attempt to bully or command the subconscious. Suggestions are all that are needed. Your love of nature, Joseph, and Ruburt your love of nature, is another method of dissociation, or can be if you use it as such.

For your ego Joseph the unspoken but strong advice you gave Jane, who was carried away in Elmira at the radio station, this advice was excellent and saved you both much pain. However, she heeded it, therefore it helped you both. Had you heeded hers in Miami or even later in Sayre, you would have saved yourself what really can only be called an agonizing blow. If you are not completely exhausted then take a break and I will continue. If you are way down by tonight’s lecture you may call it a day.