“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

In the past you did not understand properly this relationship. You understood the destructive tendencies but you placed them in the subconscious. The endless or seemingly endless circle need not occur now, or in the future. This dissociation of which Ruburt has spoken to you is an excellent discipline that will insure your use of energy in the best possible manner. I am not suggesting that the ego be ignored in any manner, merely that the tool is not allowed to become the master.

Your discipline in working habits and in living habits is admirable. Through your past life, that is the life before this one, you progressed along these lines. You do not have to forge them with steel now. They are sufficiently strong and dependable. You do not have to feel that they will let you down. Now for your own sake and for the sake of the art that you follow, you must allow yourself more inner freedom. There is a tendency in your present personality for forging discipline into a bond that could tie down your strong creative tendencies. It is true you needed controls. Now you have them. You stamped down upon your impulses with a frenzy, since once you felt they betrayed you.

Dissociation, and I will give you further training along this line, will enable you to bear your parents and to help them. Without it you cannot help them, and sometimes even add to their burdens. You have developed somewhat in this area lately on your own, and with Ruburt’s help. From you Ruburt has received and is receiving necessary aids in self-discipline and control, which are necessary to channel the strong intuitional abilities.

This of course happened at a young age. At the same time as a young child you almost adored your mother. This led to these conflicting feelings toward freedom of the subconscious and of the imagination. Reinforcing this unfortunate circumstance, we have the carry-over distrust of impulse from the Denmark existence. Ordinarily the last life before this would have adequately compensated for the Denmark experience, but the mother situation in this life reawakened the fear of giving in to impulse, and tended to overstrengthen the desire for discipline, which was based on fear.

Loren is actually very much like your present mother, though the father’s characteristics are also represented. Both of the parents have strongly developed emotional personalities, distorted and actually shoved grotesquely out of shape. The three brothers reacted against this exaggerated, powerful and, in the case of the father, hidden emotionalism to varying degrees. Joseph picked up what seems to be the father’s discipline and orderliness, as did Loren. These seeming characteristics in the father’s case however are actually frozen emotionalism encased in compulsions.