“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

First of all if you’ll forgive me, I would like to go into the situations culminating in your illness of this time last winter. Your psychic state of nervousness, fear, lack of confidence and lack of focus as far as utilizing your artistic abilities were concerned, began to build up like many encircling walls. The ego imprisoned you more and more. Your subconscious healing abilities and the hidden subconscious vitality beneath became dammed up, seemingly with no means of release.

The ego, as I have said before, is extremely important. It is however only a part of what you call yourself. Your artistic ability does not belong to your ego, dear Joseph, though I understand as I speak that anyone on your plane identifies himself with his ego, and when he says “I am,” he means he is his ego, or his ego is.

Nevertheless, the ego is the tool by which the hidden self manipulates in the physical universe as you know it. The ego enables you to use or focus your artistic ability along the lines necessary to make it effective on your plane. However when the ego becomes involved with fears to a greater or lesser extent, it ceases to be an effective tool and becomes instead a hammer hitting you incessantly over the head.

The particular atmosphere surrounding your personalities just prior to the animals’ deaths was destructive, short-circuited and filled with inner panics. I do not want to hurt your feelings. This is, I am sorry to say, a natural occurrence on your plane. The fact is that the animals caught your emotional contagion, and according to their lesser abilities translated it for themselves.

Dissociation, and I will give you further training along this line, will enable you to bear your parents and to help them. Without it you cannot help them, and sometimes even add to their burdens. You have developed somewhat in this area lately on your own, and with Ruburt’s help. From you Ruburt has received and is receiving necessary aids in self-discipline and control, which are necessary to channel the strong intuitional abilities.

If it seems I am hitting you over the head with a small hammer, it is only because tonight I am dealing with you. Ruburt, believe me, will get his turn. This material is meant in no way to corrode your confidence, but to show you past mistakes which you have already begun to remedy. More than others, the two of you operate as a team. For this reason it is necessary that you understand what your particular strengths and weaknesses are, and to know in which field of endeavor you can depend upon various abilities and avoid various pitfalls.