“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Later, after our company left, the sensation came back yet again as I stood in the kitchen talking to Jane. Even then, I was not quickwitted enough to capitalize on it, perhaps by asking myself questions. I was too involved in the feeling to be that objective on such short notice. Now, the next day, the memory still lingers. What was it? Maybe Seth will know.

I didn’t tell Jane about this at the time, but in a recent session, Seth referred to it and said that I’d been calling — psychically — for help because my back had been bothering me then badly. Also when I had these experiences last night, I wasn’t feeling my best. I wonder now … had I again called for help? Was this an attempt at an answer?

“Seth,” Rob said, “why does Jane still feel nervous before a session?”

“Jane hypnotized me several times lately, with very good results, as you know,” Rob said.

At around 9:15 P.M. I was in the living room talking to Jane about her ESP book. She had been interviewing people in the apartment house about their experiences. I got up to look out the window, to try my mental experiment of traveling across the bridge again. I wanted to feel myself doing it as before.

Unlike last time, I wasn’t frightened. I held up my hand without speaking. Jane stopped talking and we waited quietly to see what might develop. I hoped the feeling would somehow turn into sound or images, but it didn’t. At least I felt that I hadn’t slammed any ‘interior door’ shut.

Also, after supper, it developed that Miss Cunningham, the retired school teacher in the front apartment, suffered an attack of some sort and was in urgent need of help. Another neighbor and tenant, Don Jacobs, called us. Jane went to see what was wrong and found that Miss C had fallen on the floor, was suffering from severe lapses of memory and was in very poor condition. She had evidently taken several falls earlier that day, and had not been eating.

There followed a very confusing and, to me, upsetting several hours during which Jane and Don tried to make arrangements with Miss C’s doctor, relatives and a hospital. The relatives refused to help, seemingly out of fear of Miss C herself, who had always been quite independent with them. In the meantime, Miss C was hysterical, pulling at her hair and so forth. Miss C’s family (nieces and nephews) finally said they would take the patient to the emergency room at the hospital; her doctor told Jane he would be waiting for her there. In the meantime, the relatives changed their minds; the doctor was furious and left. Jane finally contacted another doctor who arrived at midnight and authorized Miss C’s hospitalization.

As the regular hour for our session came and went, Jane began to get ‘nibbles’ from Seth. At the same time, I felt worse. I had not been helping Jane and felt guilty about it and was angry at Miss C’s relatives. Once I had such a severe attack of back cramps that I couldn’t stand.

Coming in and out of Miss Cunningham’s apartment, Jane would tell me the snatches of thought she received from Seth. I was in no condition to cooperate, so Jane wrote the words down. Several comments were directed to me, and one, in particular, was quite illuminating. ‘You want to help but fear to move. If you had helped tonight, you would not have felt the need to turn your emotions inward against yourself in such a self-destructive manner.’”

Once Jane said to me, ‘Boy, you were some help.’ And later she was mentally taken to task for the remark by Seth.