“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

She is always slightly dubious and doubtful before a session … since she is the one through whom I speak. The inner senses are not accustomed to operating so freely, and this sometimes upsets the all-present ego. Usually in our sessions, one inner sense is in strong operation. … Often, just beforehand Ruburt does not have a thought in his head … and then my ‘excellent’ dissertations begin, if you will forgive a touch of egoism on my part. He wants to know where the words are coming from and still wonders if I am a part of his subconscious; and I must admit that I find such an idea appalling. He wants his answers given to him in a way that his conscious mind can understand. This is our twenty-fourth session, and I am still trying to give you the answers.

This last was given with rich mock humor. Seth went on to explain that great dimension would be given to the sessions as we progressed. He began to go into the inner senses more thoroughly and Rob really pricked up his ears, hoping that Seth would mention his three recent experiences. Were they the results of his fumbling attempts to use the inner senses?

It was invented by the ego to protect the ego, because of the mistaken conception of dual existence; that is, because man felt that a predictable, conscious self did the thinking and manipulating, and an unpredictable self did the breathing and dreaming. He set up boundaries to protect the ‘predictable’ self from the ‘unpredictable’ self and ended up by cutting the whole self in half.

Originally, psychological time allowed man to live in the inner and outer worlds with relative ease … and man felt much closer to his environment. In prehistoric times, mankind evolved the ego to help him deal with camouflage patterns that he had, himself, created. This is no contradiction, as will be explained later. He did the job so well that even when he had things well under control, he was not satisfied. He developed at a lopsided level. The inner senses led him into a reality he could not manipulate as easily as he could physical camouflage, and he feared what he thought of as a loss of mastery.

Here, we took a break. “If Seth doesn’t mention my experiences, I’m going to interrupt and ask him,” Rob said. He was still having back trouble, and now a spasm seized him so that he grimaced. Suddenly, Seth said,

Rob took his pad over to the high old-fashioned TV set we had then. It made a good desk, and he stood up to take his notes for the rest of the session.

By now, the sessions were running from seventeen to twenty typed, double-spaced pages and they lasted anywhere from two and a half to three hours. Only one experiment using the tape recorder showed us that our usual procedure was the best one. Rob really had a great time, though, for the twenty-fifth session he didn’t have to take notes while we tried out the recorder. Seth also spoke much faster. He congratulated us on our “twenty-fifth anniversary,” and said jokingly, You will be much older by the time I am through with you. Most of the session was a discussion of ordinary subjective states emphasizing the fact that these could not be pinpointed in a laboratory or understood simply by the use of the ordinary scientific method. Yet, they are vital elements in our lives.

The next day, though, Rob found himself “paying” for his freedom from notes. The session lasted three hours. But he discovered that it took him much longer than this to transcribe the tape, since he had to start and stop the recorder so often. It was much easier and quicker to work from his own handwritten notes.

Through all of these early sessions, Rob was not feeling well. He is in such good health now that it’s difficult to remember how badly he felt. The session notes show his condition quite clearly, though. Often Seth would give us a break so Rob could rest. Frequently he took notes on the old TV set, standing up, and sometimes he sat in the new rocker.

That weekend he didn’t feel well. Monday morning he tried self-hypnosis with good, though temporary, results. He felt better the rest of that day and on Tuesday. On Wednesday evening an upsetting incident happened, throwing our household and a neighbor’s into confusion, and aggravating Rob’s symptoms.

There followed a very confusing and, to me, upsetting several hours during which Jane and Don tried to make arrangements with Miss C’s doctor, relatives and a hospital. The relatives refused to help, seemingly out of fear of Miss C herself, who had always been quite independent with them. In the meantime, Miss C was hysterical, pulling at her hair and so forth. Miss C’s family (nieces and nephews) finally said they would take the patient to the emergency room at the hospital; her doctor told Jane he would be waiting for her there. In the meantime, the relatives changed their minds; the doctor was furious and left. Jane finally contacted another doctor who arrived at midnight and authorized Miss C’s hospitalization.