“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Looking back now, the next morning, I think the possibility crossed my mind that some psychic effects were being felt, but, actually, I was so startled that I didn’t think much of anything.

While writing out this statement, I’m reminded that I experienced a milder version of the same sensation last month, while I was working at my part-time job in the art department of a local greeting card company. I was alone in the art room, eating lunch at my desk, when the feeling swept over me. There was no warning or pain, but the surprise doubled me over my desk. I was frightened, thinking it might be some kind of an attack then, but it passed quickly and did not return.

I didn’t tell Jane about this at the time, but in a recent session, Seth referred to it and said that I’d been calling — psychically — for help because my back had been bothering me then badly. Also when I had these experiences last night, I wasn’t feeling my best. I wonder now … had I again called for help? Was this an attempt at an answer?

The next night, Rob and I purchased a tape recorder, hoping that we might be able to lighten his work load. We didn’t get back from the shopping center until nearly 8:30 and then we began fussing with the recorder. As was usual in those days, I began to get the jitters as 9:00 P.M. approached; we finally decided not to use the recorder that night but to wait until the next session and give ourselves time to become acquainted with the gadget.

This is closely related to the second inner sense, and it is upon psychological time that you must try to transpose your inner visions. You can see how handicapped we both are because of the difficulties involved in trying to explain inner data in terms of outer data. For instance, when I tell you that the second inner sense is like your sense of time, this does give you some understanding of what psychological time is like, but you are apt to compare the two too closely.

But the minute — the physical minute — you try to transpose these visions upon the physical minute, then you lose them. Many times, in so-called daydreaming, you have lost track of clock time, and this experience of inner duration has entered in.

The first time this happened, you were calling for help. Like many others, you feared the inner world so strongly, even though you were somewhat acquainted with it through your art, that nothing but panic would force you to try that invisible knob. This time, there was a remembrance of panic but that was all. Actually you opened the door out of desire, stimulated by our sessions and out of curiosity, but you were still frightened.

What you experienced is rather difficult to explain until we have a thorough discussion of the inner senses, but I will give you a simple explanation for now. You felt an onrush — or should I say an onslaught? — of data in its pure form, rushing through the inner senses like a wind in a kaleidoscope because you did not know how to control or disentangle it.

For this reason, you attempted a rather hilarious feat. You tried to switch over and pick up inside data with the outer senses, and then project this inward. For a beginner, it was quite a performance. … It was a defect on the receiving end that caused fear on your part. You felt sound. But, because you did not hear sound with your ears, you panicked and formed the image of mouths that could not speak. This was a projection of your inability and should not be taken as any condition of helplessness existing in the inner world, as I am afraid you interpreted the image.

Your feeling of a door or funnel is quite legitimate, however, and if you felt attacked because of the onrush of data that seemed to crash down upon you, it was only because of your inability to control the volume, so to speak. You switched yourself off automatically because the experience frightened you, but the whole affair was beneficial since it gave you some first-hand experience with pure inner sensory data. It was unfortunate that it was so uncontrolled, but I’m afraid this can often be expected in the beginning. If possible, try to relax if the experience happens again, and the data will slow itself up.

You can look through psychological time at clock time and even use clock time then to your greater advantage; but without the initial recognition of psychological time, clock time becomes a prison. … A proper use of psychological time will not only lead you to inner reality but will prevent you from being rushed in the physical world. It provides quiet and peacefulness.

The next day, though, Rob found himself “paying” for his freedom from notes. The session lasted three hours. But he discovered that it took him much longer than this to transcribe the tape, since he had to start and stop the recorder so often. It was much easier and quicker to work from his own handwritten notes.

Unlike last time, I wasn’t frightened. I held up my hand without speaking. Jane stopped talking and we waited quietly to see what might develop. I hoped the feeling would somehow turn into sound or images, but it didn’t. At least I felt that I hadn’t slammed any ‘interior door’ shut.

Coming in and out of Miss Cunningham’s apartment, Jane would tell me the snatches of thought she received from Seth. I was in no condition to cooperate, so Jane wrote the words down. Several comments were directed to me, and one, in particular, was quite illuminating. ‘You want to help but fear to move. If you had helped tonight, you would not have felt the need to turn your emotions inward against yourself in such a self-destructive manner.’”

The next night Mark Ragen, a friend, dropped by. We were somewhat tired, but glad to see him. For the first time, I felt that Seth was “around” while we were socially engaged. My feelings were confused. I thought sardonically, “A guest from another layer of reality is one thing, but do you really want your friends to meet him?” Finally my nervousness was so apparent that Rob asked me what was wrong. For a moment I just sat there. Should I introduce Seth to Mark or not? I remember thinking that no book of etiquette even written could give me an answer.