“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

But what initiated the “Idea Construction” experience? Even when I wrote The Seth Material, I didn’t clearly understand why it happened or connect it in any way with my previous life or beliefs. It seemed like a complete intrusion. This present book, devoted to dreams and subjective experience, led me into deeper self-examination. In preparation, I reread my own records and poetry. The poetry itself provides a clear record of subjective thoughts and emotions. And it was through reading this old poetry that I found clues that showed me the points of continuity between my life before my psychic initiation and after it.

I’m including in this chapter a few poems as notes of a subjective autobiography, to show what events triggered this first release of unconscious material on my part, opening the doors to the interior universe; for now I believe that certain personal conditions are characteristic prerequisites for such developments, that the channels of intuitive knowledge are opened according to the intensity of individual need. This need might not be consciously recognized, as it was not in my case, but it must be present.

The poems show my attitude toward life in general just before my psychic experiences began. When you see the type of poetry that I was writing then, you will understand immediately why the ideas in “Idea Construction” were such a revelation to me. Incidentally, I considered these poems as aesthetic creations. I made no effort at the time to examine my own subjective states — I simply expressed them as best I could and then criticized the poems on their aesthetic merits. The way I saw life was the way life was! It never occurred to me that my own attitudes had anything to do with it.

Rob always enjoyed excellent health, but in 1963 he came down with severe back trouble. Certainly this frightened me and was probably partly responsible for the feelings expressed in the following poem — feelings, I think, that are quite prevalent during early adulthood:

Magic Was

Magic was my middle name,
I was so brave and tall.
No one knew who I was then,
Myself least of all.

I was untouched ten years ago,
By love and even pain.
The world touched me or touched me not.
To me it was the same.

But then the flesh knew it was flesh,
And howled out its defeat,
And I was flamed to life
By vulnerability.

This next is not as good a poem, aesthetically, as the others, but it was written to Rob and clearly shows the growing sense of panic with which I viewed the passing years. I remember writing it — half in tears.

A small household tragedy, the death of a cat, yet to me it contained the question of the uniqueness of life and the value of consciousness. Didn’t anyone or anything care that one cat had died? I felt guilty even considering the question. In a world where humans slaughtered their own kind constantly, who in their right mind would give a moment’s thought to a cat’s consciousness? Yet either all life was sacred, or none of it was. So I brooded.

No man can look in his son’s face,
What was done to him he does in turn,
For he carries the hate in his blood.
Ghosts of days forgotten,
Tragedies unseen, unspoken,
Wait in the past’s proud flesh,
And nothing can shake them off.

Doom was a toy ball.
We toss it high
And laughed to see
The rockets rise.

Now I remember that spring, recall sitting at my desk writing poetry, caught up in a feeling that nature was betraying us all with its promise of hope and renewal. It was almost mechanical, I thought, as if some second-hand god kept reusing the same leaves each year, over and over again, and we were too childish to see beneath the subterfuge.

Yet that same May, while I was writing the most pessimistic of poetry, I also remember a break in my mood, a quickening of spirit that was reflected in two poems of quite a different nature. The first was written on my birthday.

Two days later, I sat at my desk, idly watching the sunshine on my bare arm, and was suddenly astonished by the miracle of skin. I wrote the following poem which is mentioned later by Seth as an indication of the inner knowledge that was almost ready to burst into consciousness.

I think that my “Idea Construction” experience was initiated, then, at least in part, by the need that is apparent in these poems. The last two show early indications of emerging intuitive knowledge. I believe that I had gone as far as my intellect and normal creativity could take me and that new channels were opened when I needed them most. Generally, I think, these other channels open when we have ceased to rely upon most of the answers that have been given to us by others and found wanting. (Along these lines, I wonder if tranquilizers often cut us off from such intuitive breakthroughs by preventing us from coming to grips with the true “darkness of soul” that can precede such experiences and by allowing us to accept temporary, objective and artificial solutions.)

I have dealt with this extensively here because creative, unconscious energy is so often a part of the dream state. Apparently, in my case at that time, the “intrusive” unconscious material had to be propelled through to my consciousness during my waking state, since I never regained memory of the initial dream in which the information was originally given.

At the time of the “Idea Construction” experience, the Seth sessions themselves were undreamed of, of course. So while this book is devoted to Seth’s theories on the nature of dreams and his instructions on their use, it is not meant to be a definitive statement. Seth continues to deliver material on dreams, along with other subjects. Those of you who want a more general idea of Seth’s views can refer to The Seth Material. Here, I’ll give the material on dreams as it was given to us in succeeding sessions — particularly in the early part of the book. This automatically presents the material in order, preserving the sense of continuity, and serves as a progressive, subjective journal of dream experiences as Rob and I, and later my students, followed Seth’s suggestions. This method of presentation also gives the reader a built-in opportunity to try the experiments for himself, just as Seth gave them to us as we went along.