“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

I’m including in this chapter a few poems as notes of a subjective autobiography, to show what events triggered this first release of unconscious material on my part, opening the doors to the interior universe; for now I believe that certain personal conditions are characteristic prerequisites for such developments, that the channels of intuitive knowledge are opened according to the intensity of individual need. This need might not be consciously recognized, as it was not in my case, but it must be present.

The poems show my attitude toward life in general just before my psychic experiences began. When you see the type of poetry that I was writing then, you will understand immediately why the ideas in “Idea Construction” were such a revelation to me. Incidentally, I considered these poems as aesthetic creations. I made no effort at the time to examine my own subjective states — I simply expressed them as best I could and then criticized the poems on their aesthetic merits. The way I saw life was the way life was! It never occurred to me that my own attitudes had anything to do with it.

These poems were all written in spring and summer of 1963 and concern life in general:

I remember writing this poem on one of a series of dreary afternoons in which it seemed that life in general had little meaning.

Rob always enjoyed excellent health, but in 1963 he came down with severe back trouble. Certainly this frightened me and was probably partly responsible for the feelings expressed in the following poem — feelings, I think, that are quite prevalent during early adulthood:

This next is not as good a poem, aesthetically, as the others, but it was written to Rob and clearly shows the growing sense of panic with which I viewed the passing years. I remember writing it — half in tears.

And when I looked around me, it seemed that for all of man’s good intentions, he only transmitted the errors of his race; that each man or woman unknowingly perpetuated the peculiar sins and failings of their families. I wrote one of my most pessimistic of poems:

Yet that same May, while I was writing the most pessimistic of poetry, I also remember a break in my mood, a quickening of spirit that was reflected in two poems of quite a different nature. The first was written on my birthday.

Two days later, I sat at my desk, idly watching the sunshine on my bare arm, and was suddenly astonished by the miracle of skin. I wrote the following poem which is mentioned later by Seth as an indication of the inner knowledge that was almost ready to burst into consciousness.

I think that my “Idea Construction” experience was initiated, then, at least in part, by the need that is apparent in these poems. The last two show early indications of emerging intuitive knowledge. I believe that I had gone as far as my intellect and normal creativity could take me and that new channels were opened when I needed them most. Generally, I think, these other channels open when we have ceased to rely upon most of the answers that have been given to us by others and found wanting. (Along these lines, I wonder if tranquilizers often cut us off from such intuitive breakthroughs by preventing us from coming to grips with the true “darkness of soul” that can precede such experiences and by allowing us to accept temporary, objective and artificial solutions.)