“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

With the initiation of psychic experience, he found himself wanting to write about what happened to him, and to use the material creatively. The previous beliefs in himself as a writer, however, clashed with these new urges because he did not consider anything but fiction as the work of a writer, except for poetry.

He proceeded to make two divisions in his life, one “psychic,” and the other “the writing self.” The writing self looked askance at any creative material that did not come from the kinds of inspiration with which it was previously familiar. It insisted that other creative material come outside of Ruburt’s five-hour writing day. These beliefs generated their own emotions, of course, so that Ruburt would become angry when thought of as a “psychic” by others.

The same kind of dilemma can arise in any reader’s experience whenever two strongly conflicting core beliefs meet. Ruburt also believed in his psychic work, you see, and was fully committed to it. He developed some physical symptoms, and following through with his beliefs he is working them out on his own. He saw for himself how they perfectly mirrored his inner image of himself.

His core belief in himself as a writer, he saw, was really highly constrictive. He had not realized that before. At the same time he had consciously known it, but allowed it to remain invisible. He realized that the writing and psychic aspects each did want to write, and this was the bridge belief.

(Pause.) The original belief meant that he considered his reality in mental terms, generally identifying a writer with ideas, and using his body as a vehicle rather than thinking of it as the living organism through which creaturehood experience must come. So this evening the senses were allowed their freedom, but the experience was magnified by his psychic sensitivity.