“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

As time went on the number of unexamined, frightening beliefs began to accumulate. Ideas and beliefs do feed upon themselves. There is within them a built-in impetus toward growth, development and fulfillment. Over the years two opposing systems of beliefs built up strongly, vying for Augustus’s attention. He believed that he was utterly powerless as an individual, that despite all his efforts he would come to nothing, go unnoticed. He felt completely unloved. He did not feel worthy of love. At the same time he let his conscious mind wander, and to compensate saw himself as all-powerful, contemptuous of his fellow human beings, and able to work greater vengeance upon them for their misunderstanding of him. In this line of beliefs he was able to do anything — cure mankind’s ills if he chose, or withhold such knowledge from the world to punish it. Period.

Now all of these ideas were quite conscious, but he held each group separately. The conscious mind, again, tries to obtain overall integrity and unity, lining up its beliefs into some kind of consistent system. When opposing beliefs that directly contradict each other are held for any length of time, and little attempt is made to reconcile them, then a “battle” begins within the conscious mind itself.

Augustus One’s moods of course were a direct result of the ideas he was entertaining. It was this unceasing swing from high states of exaltation and power to low ones of powerlessness and depression that the body could not tolerate, because of the vast alterations entailed. For the greater periods of time Augustus One predominates, since his ideas of worthlessness, in your terms, were adopted earlier; and worse — are only reinforced by the contrast between him and Augustus Two. Augustus Two comes on sometimes for as long as a week at a time.

He does all the things and says all the things that Augustus One would dearly love to do and say, with only certain safeguards. Augustus One, however, is not literally unconscious during this time, but quite aware of the “vicarious” activities and fulfillments. Again, it is a game of hide-and-seek, in which the so-called unconscious mind is relatively innocent.

His beliefs in his unworthiness prevented him from using his abilities, or even pursuing a course of effective action, with any persistence. It was then that Augustus Two began to assert himself — and to Augustus’s wife. In his own way Augustus Two would prove to her that she was married to quite an unusual, powerful man, a paragon of virility and strength; but to do so Augustus One must appear as Augustus Two to her. This continued for some time. Augustus One would first develop a splitting headache, and then this alien from outer space would arrive: the commanding male that Augustus One was not.

(Pause.) Here, however, the “deception” brought about certain difficulties. Not only was Augustus Two more sexually promiscuous, but by contrast Augustus One seemed very pallid indeed. Augustus Two was originally intended to help Augustus One. It’s true that the exotic conditions spilled over, casting some glamour on Augustus One when Augustus Two left for a time, but the contrast was too blatant, too out in the open. Augustus One, still the primary personality, became even more frightened. He knew that gradually Augustus Two was outliving his purpose, showing him up, and had to go.

Here then is a case where directly opposing beliefs dominated the conscious mind at various times, each operating the body in its own manner. Physically the body has the same capacity for strength regardless of which group of ideas were dominant; but practically speaking, Augustus One was incapable of performing the feats of Augustus Two.

(The session resumed, however, after I had put my notebook aside. During a spontaneous exchange, Seth delivered some insights concerning his own origin and creative aspects, and why Jane’s personality would make the emergence of a Seth possible. There was more. I didn’t write down what was said, and as usual ended up wishing I had — perhaps we’ll take the time to recoup it during a session.