“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Augustus had been taught to fear his own thoughts, to avoid self-examination. Beliefs or ideas that frightened him were not faced, therefore, but initially shoved into corners of the conscious mind, where they lay relatively harmlessly in the beginning.

As time went on the number of unexamined, frightening beliefs began to accumulate. Ideas and beliefs do feed upon themselves. There is within them a built-in impetus toward growth, development and fulfillment. Over the years two opposing systems of beliefs built up strongly, vying for Augustus’s attention. He believed that he was utterly powerless as an individual, that despite all his efforts he would come to nothing, go unnoticed. He felt completely unloved. He did not feel worthy of love. At the same time he let his conscious mind wander, and to compensate saw himself as all-powerful, contemptuous of his fellow human beings, and able to work greater vengeance upon them for their misunderstanding of him. In this line of beliefs he was able to do anything — cure mankind’s ills if he chose, or withhold such knowledge from the world to punish it. Period.

Augustus One’s moods of course were a direct result of the ideas he was entertaining. It was this unceasing swing from high states of exaltation and power to low ones of powerlessness and depression that the body could not tolerate, because of the vast alterations entailed. For the greater periods of time Augustus One predominates, since his ideas of worthlessness, in your terms, were adopted earlier; and worse — are only reinforced by the contrast between him and Augustus Two. Augustus Two comes on sometimes for as long as a week at a time.

His nature is protective. The basic ideas and beliefs that have been personified into his being, that became his being, were formed to protect Augustus One from the destructive ideas given to him in his childhood, to combat the beliefs in powerlessness and futility. To that degree they were added onto the original ideas, but still at an early age; so it was from the child’s concept of a powerful being that Augustus Two sprang.

(Pause.) Augustus’s mother noted only that her son seemed highly changeable. Augustus Two did not present himself as obviously “another personality” until after Augustus’s marriage, when the demands of fatherhood and making a living were placed upon him. He could not cope.

His beliefs in his unworthiness prevented him from using his abilities, or even pursuing a course of effective action, with any persistence. It was then that Augustus Two began to assert himself — and to Augustus’s wife. In his own way Augustus Two would prove to her that she was married to quite an unusual, powerful man, a paragon of virility and strength; but to do so Augustus One must appear as Augustus Two to her. This continued for some time. Augustus One would first develop a splitting headache, and then this alien from outer space would arrive: the commanding male that Augustus One was not.

(Pause.) Here, however, the “deception” brought about certain difficulties. Not only was Augustus Two more sexually promiscuous, but by contrast Augustus One seemed very pallid indeed. Augustus Two was originally intended to help Augustus One. It’s true that the exotic conditions spilled over, casting some glamour on Augustus One when Augustus Two left for a time, but the contrast was too blatant, too out in the open. Augustus One, still the primary personality, became even more frightened. He knew that gradually Augustus Two was outliving his purpose, showing him up, and had to go.

Augustus Two has not taken over now for two and one-half months. Augustus is in a dilemma, for he still holds intact the beliefs in his own powerlessness, and the contradictory beliefs of omnipotence are not now being expressed through Augustus Two. Yet expressed they will be; and so in the interview Augustus One — who we will now simply call Augustus — at one moment came through with his gigantic belligerence, staring at Ruburt and telling him that he could annihilate anyone who hurt him. In the next moment the great plea for help would surface, the love of his wife and child. In one sentence Augustus would make a statement, and ten minutes later make it clear with another remark that the first fact had not been true.

(Pause at 11:00.) Augustus said, “My friend killed a neighbor of mine who was against me by giving him pneumonia. He looks out for me.” Another neighbor has ulcers, and Augustus told Ruburt that after he touched this neighbor the ulcers seemed to have been healed. So he said, “I would like to know how much of this great ability belongs to me.” And looking briefly away: “Perhaps I do not need my friend to protect me after all.” Now this was definitely to the good, in that Augustus was beginning to feel that perhaps he was not powerless. His own personality, however, is left to handle the definitely unsavory characteristics of an Augustus Two who is no longer personified.

It has taken some courage for him to let Augustus Two vanish. Because the neat division of beliefs no longer exists, however, he will seem even more difficult to his wife since the characteristics of Augustus Two now “bleed into” his own. He will lie for example where before only Augustus Two lied.