“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

As time went on the number of unexamined, frightening beliefs began to accumulate. Ideas and beliefs do feed upon themselves. There is within them a built-in impetus toward growth, development and fulfillment. Over the years two opposing systems of beliefs built up strongly, vying for Augustus’s attention. He believed that he was utterly powerless as an individual, that despite all his efforts he would come to nothing, go unnoticed. He felt completely unloved. He did not feel worthy of love. At the same time he let his conscious mind wander, and to compensate saw himself as all-powerful, contemptuous of his fellow human beings, and able to work greater vengeance upon them for their misunderstanding of him. In this line of beliefs he was able to do anything — cure mankind’s ills if he chose, or withhold such knowledge from the world to punish it. Period.

Because like ideas do attract like, both electromagnetically and emotionally, the conscious mind found itself with two complete contradictory systems of belief, and two self-images. (Pause.) To protect the integrity of the physical structure, Augustus’s conscious mind neatly divided itself up. No longer were the minute-to-minute messages to the body scrambled.

He does all the things and says all the things that Augustus One would dearly love to do and say, with only certain safeguards. Augustus One, however, is not literally unconscious during this time, but quite aware of the “vicarious” activities and fulfillments. Again, it is a game of hide-and-seek, in which the so-called unconscious mind is relatively innocent.

His beliefs in his unworthiness prevented him from using his abilities, or even pursuing a course of effective action, with any persistence. It was then that Augustus Two began to assert himself — and to Augustus’s wife. In his own way Augustus Two would prove to her that she was married to quite an unusual, powerful man, a paragon of virility and strength; but to do so Augustus One must appear as Augustus Two to her. This continued for some time. Augustus One would first develop a splitting headache, and then this alien from outer space would arrive: the commanding male that Augustus One was not.

(Pause at 11:00.) Augustus said, “My friend killed a neighbor of mine who was against me by giving him pneumonia. He looks out for me.” Another neighbor has ulcers, and Augustus told Ruburt that after he touched this neighbor the ulcers seemed to have been healed. So he said, “I would like to know how much of this great ability belongs to me.” And looking briefly away: “Perhaps I do not need my friend to protect me after all.” Now this was definitely to the good, in that Augustus was beginning to feel that perhaps he was not powerless. His own personality, however, is left to handle the definitely unsavory characteristics of an Augustus Two who is no longer personified.

For the body of Augustus is once again under the sway of beliefs about himself that are highly contradictory. Before, he was physically powerful when he was Augustus Two, and weak when he was Augustus One. Now as Augustus he is alternately strong and weak, and the body stresses are apparent. As Augustus Two he could stay up night and day and perform physical tasks quite difficult for the normal human being to do, for he operated under the indivisible idea of power and strength.