“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now over here we have great energy, and because I am aware of your conversations, strong power that is being withheld out of caution and fear. You have a strong core of energy tested too early and not under the best of circumstances, though at the time you may have believed so. You are much easier now, but at the time, there was an explosion of energy on your part that you did not understand, and you were afraid that in this explosion of energy you would go too far outward and there would be nothing left, so to speak, that you would get away from yourself and lose yourself beyond all hopes of recovery.

Now regardless of what you may think, consciously, the hypnosis experiments did, indeed, upset you, and part of you regarded them as coercion and this you highly resented so that you sent a part of yourself where the other part of yourself did not want to go. And so you went but with faltering steps. You were enthralled, as you are enthralled, but you were underneath much more cautious.

(To Davey.) Now here we have a too early blooming of abilities before the overall personality was able to handle them, and we also have a great contrast in attitude for we have on one hand the determination to show up all fraud, and on the other hand, the fear underneath that our own experiences could somehow be fraudulent. And, therefore, you could not trust yourself and found yourself unable to continue. The dilemma came, therefore, and you avoided the field of endeavor.