“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Following a discussion of last week’s session, Theodore M. stated he wasn’t sure he would acknowledge his inner secrets to himself, much less reveal them in class.)

([Theodore M:] “How far would the ego accept it and wouldn’t it be dangerous?”)

Now you may think that Joan Grant has formed a far more splendid reality than you have, and yet none of you would live in her shoes for an hour. You are not willing, some of you, to accept and experience your own feelings and emotions much less those of others. Now Miss Grant could, instead, you see, be full of the joy that exists in all personalities and in all pasts, and she could be as much help to the individuals involved but working from an entirely different level.

You think because you come here that you are quite avant-garde and very with it and open-minded, indeed. There are people that you would not share your living room with who do not consider themselves avant-garde or open-minded, who do not understand concepts and are not equipped to intellectualize, but people who feel their own feelings with exaltation and joy and recognize their own identities because of this, and who are, therefore, open to the feelings of others and able to relate to them. When you use your inner abilities you are opening yourselves up to feelings, your own and those of others. And you cannot use symbols or concepts. You must learn to feel and recognize your feelings and be expansive. Only your fears are restrictive. You have all had secrets that you hid for many lives. You are far more nefarious in some of them than you are now.

When I said that our simple little exercise last week was a preliminary exercise, that is exactly what I meant but you are the ones who are placing the interpretation upon it that you are. So I have a simple question for you and I will expect an answer. It is a very simple question, there is an implication within it. You do not need to accept the implication, but if you do not, then why do you not? And for all your fine thoughts, why are each of you, in your secret ways, so afraid of the implications of the word love or showing it here? Why do you find it far safer to show love to an animal and pet it, than to a person? Now this is my question for you this evening, and I expect it faced and answered honestly. You are more frightened of that than anything else, not of your secrets. This is a fine blind. Some of you would rather stand up in this class and say, “I killed an animal in hatred” or “I knocked a man’s guts out” or “I shot my neighbor” almost, rather than express a simple statement of love or acceptance to another person in the class wholeheartedly and act, that was not an act, when you are not a star performing. The secrets do not bother you half as much as you imagine that they do.

(To Mark.) First of all I have been misinterpreted. Nowhere did I tell you to hide or ignore your feelings or pretend that something did not annoy you when it did. Admit your feelings to yourself. Openly be aware of them. If they are unpleasant feelings then be aware of them as you would be aware of black clouds that pass your window. Do not pretend they do not exist, or you will run into trouble. But when you shove one black cloud against another black cloud you can have one hell of a storm so you do not have to retaliate, therefore. Simply be aware of your feeling, then try to understand the reality of the person involved. Why do they behave in such and such a manner? Once you have accepted your feelings then refuse to let the balance of your mind be upset by such disturbances even though you recognize them. Send, then, thoughts of peace towards the person involved, that their problems may be solved. This allows you freedom to admit your own feeling but puts you in control. Do you see the difference?

(To Sally.) You project your own distrust upon other people and then react to it and so you close yourself off from those feelings of trust that others would express for you. Now you have a deep distrust of self that you have managed to shove beneath for many years, and it originated before your divorce. Now the distrust was projected outward, and so you found in physical reality those effects that seemed to justify your feelings and, therefore, you hid further and further within yourself, adapting a militant manner to hide the helplessness that you felt.

Now, consciously, you meant well, of course. Unconsciously, however, there were reasons why you acted in such a manner, and you knew while you were doing this that the return was not of the kind that you would expect or wanted. You did not accept gracefully or openly that which was given, which was all these individuals had to give at that time, but subconsciously demanded that they give to the same scale that you gave and repaid love to the same scale as if there were, indeed, a point system and they fell short.