“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

All of life as you know it is vulnerable. Existence as you know it is vulnerable, but if you are vulnerable to sorrow and doubt you are also vulnerable to exaltation and joy, so do not attempt to close off from your feelings or be ashamed of them or deny them. Creativity is always vulnerable and within the vulnerability of your present life is the key to your own infinite existence. The leaves are vulnerable to storms, to temperature, and they bend gently. They give and do not attempt to stand rigidly against their nature.

You are dealing here, and in this particular case, with probabilities. You had two main levels of development that you could have followed in this existence. They were diverse but in both, in the main, you would have been working toward the same objectives. And in one you would have devoted your existence to studying the inner nature of reality. You would have been contemplative. Now to the extreme you would have joined an order, for awhile, of a religious nature and later you would have left it. You would have had neither wife nor child. Your questioning nature would have followed the aesthetic life with devotion and without deviation.

In the other probability, you would have pursued the same goals but you would have done it to prove the reality within physical matter. The intimate and noble qualities of life that can only be known through emotion of flesh with flesh. The unbearable agony and ecstasy that is experienced through fatherhood or motherhood. This experience alone would drive you to continue to ask your questions and seek for answers. Only the medium or framework of experience would be different.

I have a book of secrets. In each life I had secrets. Now I have no secrets, but I will see to it that some of my favorite secrets are written down so that you may read them. Now your secrets leave me completely untouched since I was an illegitimate mother several times, and as a father I sired many that I did not know. Now that was in many of my youths. I was quite a pious old man and woman in many of those lives and completely forgot or justified the errors in course of my youth. And this is why your secret did not bother me either, for I know that each of you have been both male and female and that you simply adapt those characteristics that suit you most at the time.