“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Why should another man know better than you what is within your own consciousness? With what power do you invest him that he should know better than you the feelings that are within your own heart? And why do you find it so difficult to realize what those feelings are?

It would be easy for me to tell you what you should do.

Ruburt, in the past, has given you some good advice. No one, and I repeat this, no one can or should make decisions for you. However, I hope to reinforce your inner knowledge that you do have the ability to make decisions, and good ones. You have progressed, you have progressed in the appointments that you have made and kept. But your inner problem does not have to do with work, but why you did not find work in the past. It does not have to do with your marriage. It has to do with those needs of yours that were satisfied within that marriage.

([Jane:] “Brad should look into the reasons why he felt it necessary to stay with his wife.”

Now, I asked our friend to question himself to discover why he felt it necessary to continue the relationship, and what emotional needs were being met. I did not imply that the needs were necessary, only that he felt they were and that he should discover the reasons why he felt these needs were necessary. I did not imply that the needs were necessary or unnecessary.

You are endowing her with what you imagine to be highly efficient masculine qualities. You are endowing yourself with what you imagine to be feminine qualities. Now the human being is a gestalt of perception. There are no qualities as such that are masculine or feminine. You are knocking down those abilities that are your own because you conceive of them as feminine. And in your mind you are setting Margo up as highly efficient because she has those abilities that you think should be your own because you think that they are masculine qualities. So you are allowing yourself to behave in what you imagine to be a subservient, feminine behavior. Now this is all a result of your own attitude, and she has reacted to that attitude, and reinforced it, because she wants to be dominant. One portion of her wants to be dominant; the other portion looks to you as a man, and there you fail her, because you refuse to assert the independence that is your nature. It seems to contradict your artistic nature and there is no contradiction. The contradiction only exists in your mind. She looks to you for direction and you do not give it, and therefore—if all within this room will excuse me—she turns into a bitch.