“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

It was not particularly good advice. Your friend (Dr. Holloway) did not mention the most important point of all. He did not ask you to question yourself. He did not ask you to look into yourself, and to discover those reasons why you had put up with that situation for so many years. He did not ask you to discover what needs within you were being satisfied in your marriage, anymore, my dear friend, than you asked yourself why you brought the tape to class this evening.

Now, I have said this before: On the physical level, your problem is to find a position. You have done very well lately in meeting your appointments, and this is definitely an advance. On the psychological level, you need to know why the relationship between you and your wife continued as it was for so many years. Most of all you need to know yourself as an individual, with your good points and your failings. But, as long as you continually look to others for advice, you deny your own abilities.

Now I will tell you something to do. I will give you some advice to follow. And it is very simple. This is what I want you to do: I want you to make a list of your good points, of your abilities. I want to see this in black and white. I want you to take some care in making up the list. I want you to put it in front of you and look at it three times a day.

I want you, in other words, to make tangible evidence of your own good points and accomplishments, so that when you are lost in periods of depression and negative thinking there will be something that you can look at. And you can say, “I am a person with good points and accomplishments, and here they are listed for me.” It will stop you from tearing yourself down from morning to night. This seems like a very simple suggestion, and yet it is a very valuable one.

It does indeed. It means that you use your strengths however; it means not only that you refuse to be a doormat, but that you accept yourself as a worthy personality, willing to give and to take, willing even to be used at times as you use, but not willing to be a doormat. It means that you must accept your worth and also the responsibility for it. It means that you say, “I come to this marriage as an individual, willing to give and take, with my own good points and failings—but, I do not come to this marriage as a worthless individual willing to take from you whatever you are willing to take and to give. But you must know yourself to do this, and you must be willing to look into yourself.

Reality and consciousness are in the state, always, of becoming. God himself, in your terms, is in a state of becoming. A state of completion would be an end, and the end of all realities. Therefore, at no particular point is your entity, your inner self, done and completed.

([Theodore:] “From the point of view of the entity, even?”)