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ECS2 ESP Class Session, December 8, 1970 4/58 (7%) Florence puritan umbrella guts violence
– The Early Class Sessions: Book 2 Sessions 1/6/70 to 12/29/70
– © 2008 Laurel Davies-Butts
– ESP Class Session, December 8, 1970 Tuesday

[... 33 paragraphs ...]

One, however, was as a merchant in Germany in approximately 1830, the area now around Austria. You have been rather pedantic in several past lives and given in one particularized in Spain, as a priest, to severe attitudes and ideas that lead you, alternately, toward violence and peace. You believed so strongly in principle, for example, that you would do anything to uphold it and there was little leeway in your personality. You were not able to give and take and, to some extent, that rigidity is still present in your personality. However, you are learning now to mitigate to some extent. You are, in other words, opening up in those areas. You were involved in the Inquisition. Your ideas of good and evil were highly polarized. You are making strides in this existence although you have also encountered some difficulties along these lines for it is not easy for you to be flexible, psychically or spiritually. And you are learning to do this despite the difficulties that have been involved.

[... 14 paragraphs ...]

Consciousness has its built-in protection. But when this is not spontaneously admitted and when out of fear of evil it is repressed this is when it gains additional charge. And so for release that it turns into violence, both individually and en masse. You are so afraid of violence that you do not try to understand what lies behind it. Or the creative nature that lies within it. Violence is a distortion of a thrust toward activity and when you realize this you can use it creatively. When out of fear you try to pretend that it does not exist or, on the other hand, you fear it so drastically that you shove it under, then it is magnified and can do damage.

[... 1 paragraph ...]

If you feel in that way then you should first of all admit to yourself, honestly, that that is your feeling, and as a feeling it exists and is legitimate. Do not say, “I will not feel in such and such a way, or worse, I do not feel this way.” Do not say, “God bless his soul,” when you hate his guts. You are the one who will feel the pain in the guts in that case, and not him. Instead honestly admit the feeling as a reality. Now, if it is strong, use whatever commonplace methods are available to you, a punching bag, yell your lungs out if you prefer, but when you are finished then say, “This is a feeling that I have, it was legitimate. Soon I will not feel the need for such feelings for understanding will change my emotional makeup. Now, the feeling can vanish from me that I have expressed it in a harmless way that I know.” Then immediately forget it and imagine the vitality of the universe as being strong enough and wise enough to absorb your petty violence and survive.

Do not, therefore, exaggerate the situation or magnify it by imagining this feeling as affecting the other person involved. Say, “I feel this way and I must express it at this time or be honest, but he has his protection from my feelings. He is filled with the vitality of life even as I am.” But if you ignore the feeling or pretend that it does not exist, then it is repressed within you and it draws to it all those other repressed violences; minute, insignificant details, seemingly, that gain charge until they fill you and must be expressed. Then you can meet the same individual four years later when the situation is forgotten and react violently and hurt him, where harmlessly the feeling automatically and spontaneously would have been expressed.

[... 5 paragraphs ...]

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