“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

This is a natural situation. However, the situation is a cover over the initial problem. And you will get nowhere—either in the relationship or without it—until you assert yourself in relation to your environment and realize that you are strong enough on your own to survive in physical reality. This is the problem that has been shielded behind the relationship. It is your fear that you could not survive that made you cling to the relationship. And it is still that fear that would make you want to continue it.

For many reasons having to do with your own past existence, and with your mother in this life, there was a basic insecurity and a feeling that you were not strong enough to survive on your own. This is what you must solve, and you are now ready to solve it, or the relationship between you and your wife would not have reached this point.

Consciously you knew this was a rich country in your present life, but unconsciously you held to these old feelings of fear. Now these old feelings also hung over you in that you felt that existence was much more difficult than it actually is now, and you are still relating to this old existence where times were so difficult. Now in that time, you definitely needed—and you had—someone to help you. In that life, in that life of which I am speaking—you had a man, roughly resembling your wife in bone structure, and in temperament. This man was not a family relationship...was not in a family relationship. He befriended you; you depended upon him. You have projected this upon your wife. The man was the kind who gained feelings of superiority and pleasure from helping you, but also helped you quite legitimately and kindly. When you found this sort of a woman in this life, for your own reasons, you were attracted to her. Now she, for quite other reasons, was attracted to you, but you have been terrified that alone you could not make it and would not survive.

Now. These feelings have been buried in your psyche, and they are no more legitimate than are the feelings concerning your weight that we have dealt with. You can and will survive. Now in the past existence, you were younger than this older man and you were constantly trying to prove to him that you could do without him, and so you are constantly trying to prove to your wife that you can do without her in that particular respect. And you can. But you are afraid that you could not. This put a strain on the relationship on your part but she also put strains upon the relationship that we shall not go into this evening, for her own reasons.

You may, but the point is, you must know that the tree in the forest survives, and it reaches toward the sun. And you as an individual can survive, andthen you are free to make other relationships—and in a wholesome and constructive manner. You must feel your oneness and your safety with the physical reality that you know. You must realize that you are projecting these insecurities from a past existence when you were indeed frightfully insecure. Therefore, you made demands upon this woman that she could not fulfill and she resented them. Now. She also made demands upon you, for her own reasons and we shall try to go into this some evening.