“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

And do not judge according to your egotistical ideas alone. I am speaking to you now since you have set yourself (Brad) some problems. It took courage to set yourself the particular problems that you did for this existence, otherwise you would have tackled so many at one time, so to speak. There were certain truths that you found difficult to face. Now when I say this, I do not mean that the truths were difficult. I merely mean that in past lives there were certain portions of reality in which you did not have experience. And in this life you decided to experience these. And you are so doing and you are working toward solutions. If you knew this and if you knew what the problems were at this point, the problems would not be as real and the solutions would not be as valid. It would be like cheating in an examination.

Now. I have told you often that there are methods by which you can indeed take your waking self into the dream state and follow your own travels. Now you follow them but you (Rose) will not remember; and you (Sally) follow them sometimes; and you (Rachel) follow them sometimes; and you (Amelia) are beginning to put one foot upon the path; and you (Brad) have not as yet allowed yourself to remember any of your dream encounters. But the point is that you can indeed learn to do this—that it is not impossible. It is not only probable, but it is not even difficult.

I do not need sweaters—I have no body to put one on (to Rachel knitting a sweater).

You (Rachel) are somewhat like Ruburt, in that you are gifted but you are also highly cautious. You know very well that you are gifted. You are concentrating upon your job and upon physical security, and you are determined that you will be well cared for in your later years. All your conscious efforts are focused in that direction. And at the present time you are not willing to give that much attention to these other portions of your personality that you recognize do exist. And you have recognized your own gifts for some time. You are much more aware of your inner travels than you think you are. You know more about your nightly excursions than you admit to yourself. You come to class because you like me—you also come to class because it is your contact with this inner reality and you do not want to lose contact with it. You are not willing, however, to go all the way, at this point. You can, however, allow yourself more freedom than you are now allowing yourself. And I tell you this honestly—you can afford yourself more freedom than you are presently allowing yourself. You are afraid for example that in psychological time—granted you find the physical time for it—you will take needed energy away from your physical pursuits. Now I tell you, you are overly concerned with these pursuits, that you could get the same results by trying less, by being freer. You are trying too hard... you can get better results by being freer—in your relationships with those with whom you work and in your own attitude—you will get better physical results. You will also get better physical results if you will allow yourself more inner freedom for you will gain energy and strength that you need now. You will not be depleted, but refreshed.

Now. For now, since I do not have brandy, I will drink wine.

There is a friend of yours who does not have too much time here. Now I am speaking comparatively and am not giving you times and dates. This is a male. It is a strange relationship you had, for he was an uncle of yours in a past life. And there are undercurrents that still remain. The undercurrents are important—they make sense of a relationship that otherwise would make you question it—for why do you like this person so much, you see? And he was a beloved uncle. Now there seems to be another younger man connected perhaps with one of your daughters, who may be offered either a new job or something new in his line of work that may tax him and yet he will feel that he must accept it—for he is driven by ambition—and he will accept it. There is also a younger woman close to you and with her there will be an entirely new turn, a change of lifestyle.

Your husband, incidentally, in this life has no regrets. There seems to be in his memory an affair—the two of you in a car, after a party many years ago. I am not sure of names here, so there may be a distortion, but the name “Estelle” seems somehow in the background, as if Estelle gave a party or was involved with it—that you attended. Not someone close to you. After the party there seems to have been an argument between you and your husband—and something to do with a lamp. I hope—I hope you did not hit him with it.

Do not become bored and think that I have no regard for you (Amelia) because I am speaking to our older class members, for you are coming along well with your own progression and your dream memories will get much better.

You are overextending your energies by an overconcern. You are well equipped to handle yourself financially and in the business world, but your fear that you cannot do so is making you try too hard for something that should and can come easily.

Because you try too hard when you try, because you do not relax enough and because you have this compulsive idea of getting along financially. And you are afraid in your terms of taking energy away from these pursuits. Now, your psychic abilities can help you in your daily life if you will let them do so. You are afraid to let yourselfgo in those terms. You want very much to have your feet solidly in physical reality, and you are afraid that if you let yourself go you will miss your footing, and this is not the case.

Now. There is not a karmic relationship with her. She stands in your mind for someone else with whom you did have a karmic relationship. That is not, however, your main problem. You have attempted in many ways to set up a strong relationship with your environment. You have tried to do this through weight. You have tried to say, “I am here solidly. (Pause.) Look at me. Who is more real than I for I take up so many inches of space? I weigh so much, I am here.” At the same time, you were afraid of physical reality, and because of your environment in this life, you are afraid that you could not deal with it. You must first prove to yourself that you can indeed deal with it.

You are barely beginning to do so. Now. Your wife has not been the symbol of a female to you, but of a male. Ruburt has told you this. You are now beginning to approach the point where you feel you can hold your own in physical reality.

([Brad:] “Do I need her? I want her. The dilemma has immobilized me.”)

([Brad:] “Do you mean then that we will go back together?”)

For many reasons having to do with your own past existence, and with your mother in this life, there was a basic insecurity and a feeling that you were not strong enough to survive on your own. This is what you must solve, and you are now ready to solve it, or the relationship between you and your wife would not have reached this point.

Now. These feelings have been buried in your psyche, and they are no more legitimate than are the feelings concerning your weight that we have dealt with. You can and will survive. Now in the past existence, you were younger than this older man and you were constantly trying to prove to him that you could do without him, and so you are constantly trying to prove to your wife that you can do without her in that particular respect. And you can. But you are afraid that you could not. This put a strain on the relationship on your part but she also put strains upon the relationship that we shall not go into this evening, for her own reasons.

Now. Consciously—before this evening—you thought and you told yourself you could hold a position but you could not. If you were able to do so you would have done so. The tie-up between the past existence and the present one will affect you the same way in this case as it did in the case of your weight. Before you were indulging in wishful thinking. Now you should have the purpose and the inner realization that you can indeed achieve this regardless of your environment.