“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

You (Rachel) are somewhat like Ruburt, in that you are gifted but you are also highly cautious. You know very well that you are gifted. You are concentrating upon your job and upon physical security, and you are determined that you will be well cared for in your later years. All your conscious efforts are focused in that direction. And at the present time you are not willing to give that much attention to these other portions of your personality that you recognize do exist. And you have recognized your own gifts for some time. You are much more aware of your inner travels than you think you are. You know more about your nightly excursions than you admit to yourself. You come to class because you like me—you also come to class because it is your contact with this inner reality and you do not want to lose contact with it. You are not willing, however, to go all the way, at this point. You can, however, allow yourself more freedom than you are now allowing yourself. And I tell you this honestly—you can afford yourself more freedom than you are presently allowing yourself. You are afraid for example that in psychological time—granted you find the physical time for it—you will take needed energy away from your physical pursuits. Now I tell you, you are overly concerned with these pursuits, that you could get the same results by trying less, by being freer. You are trying too hard... you can get better results by being freer—in your relationships with those with whom you work and in your own attitude—you will get better physical results. You will also get better physical results if you will allow yourself more inner freedom for you will gain energy and strength that you need now. You will not be depleted, but refreshed.

Because you try too hard when you try, because you do not relax enough and because you have this compulsive idea of getting along financially. And you are afraid in your terms of taking energy away from these pursuits. Now, your psychic abilities can help you in your daily life if you will let them do so. You are afraid to let yourselfgo in those terms. You want very much to have your feet solidly in physical reality, and you are afraid that if you let yourself go you will miss your footing, and this is not the case.

Now. There is not a karmic relationship with her. She stands in your mind for someone else with whom you did have a karmic relationship. That is not, however, your main problem. You have attempted in many ways to set up a strong relationship with your environment. You have tried to do this through weight. You have tried to say, “I am here solidly. (Pause.) Look at me. Who is more real than I for I take up so many inches of space? I weigh so much, I am here.” At the same time, you were afraid of physical reality, and because of your environment in this life, you are afraid that you could not deal with it. You must first prove to yourself that you can indeed deal with it.

Now. The interpretation is not quite correct. For one thing, this still involves you with problems from a past life. In the episode that we mentioned earlier, and the famine, you are afraid that you could not cope with physical reality. The particular life that we dealt with so briefly made an extremely strong psychic effect upon you for it was nearly impossible to cope, there was no food. At that point in your lifetimes you had no skills. You were not equipped, because of your background, to cope with hard reality. Many others were in the same condition. But it left you, that life, with the feeling that physical reality was so difficult that you could not handle it alone. You resolved, therefore, to store up what food you had in terms of fat and protein to hold you against times of famine.

Now. These feelings have been buried in your psyche, and they are no more legitimate than are the feelings concerning your weight that we have dealt with. You can and will survive. Now in the past existence, you were younger than this older man and you were constantly trying to prove to him that you could do without him, and so you are constantly trying to prove to your wife that you can do without her in that particular respect. And you can. But you are afraid that you could not. This put a strain on the relationship on your part but she also put strains upon the relationship that we shall not go into this evening, for her own reasons.