“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Since the later 1960s, when my own troubles began, I stubbornly resisted medical assistance. If I had broken a leg I would have gone to a doctor to get it set. I felt that I could handle my particular kind of difficulty alone. (Long pause.) The symptoms were obvious enough: stiffness, slowing down of motion, and general lack of mobility. I could keep track easily enough, I thought, of my own progress as I worked directly with my body, without drugs to confuse the issue, and with no one else between me and the reality I had so cunningly created. How else could I really learn anything? The more middlemen that I entertained between my physical condition and my personal beliefs, the more confused I thought I’d be.

(Long pause at 9:21.) I’m not sure where I drew the line. If I’d felt I was suffering a heart attack, for example, I knew I would rush to the hospital, but this was a chronic condition. The diagnosis—which I mentioned in my first session (on April 1)—gave a pinpointed, specific cause: a severely underactive thyroid gland, a situation that in no way contradicts Seth’s own larger interpretation of my physical state.

(Long pause at 9:35.) By last year, as my symptoms worsened, I began to feel that life’s frustrations outweighed its pleasures. Other annoying events were occurring in our private lives. The company that published my books, Prentice-Hall, was changing its structure and policy. My longtime friend and editor there, Tam Mossman, was considering leaving to work for another publishing firm. And—very troublesome to me—came the repeated news that various people were “speaking for Seth” publicly, and charging hefty-enough fees.

Now let’s see…. Okay: I hope sometime to tell the entire story of my physical and creative challenges, which as of now of course is unfinished. Much of this present manuscript, Dreams, “Evolution,” and Value Fulfillment, deals with the development of the individual as it is primarily concerned with the development of the universe: The two are one. (Long pause.) In man’s desire to make creative adjustments, it often seems that instead he adds unfortunate blemishes to life’s vitality. Yet in the long run even these become, finally, constructive manipulations whose purposes, perhaps, we did not understand at the time.