“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

I took off with Walt on the motorcycle, and all the way across the country in my mind I heard her yell, “bitch, bitch, bitch.” Yet I’m certain I didn’t feel guilty. I was scared to death of her. For that matter, I was somewhat frightened of Walt, who threatened to leave me when he got angry in a new town we happened to be in, but we made it to the west coast.

A point also from the past—if he did not toe the mark with Walt, Walt also threatened to abandon him—once, in the middle of the desert.

[...] He tried a relationship with Walt, but his high spirits and abilities would not stand for that kind of repression. [...]

[...] I visited Walt and Jane at their apartment in Saratoga Springs and told them I’d be leaving the area. Jane discussed the decision she and Walt had made. [...] I can see Walt now, sitting by the window of their second-story apartment’s small living room, nodding at Jane’s words, his eyes wet. [...] It was only after Jane had begun the Seth material a number of years later that we realized that she and Walt, both coming from dysfunctional families, had chosen to come together at just the right time for their own mutually creative learning purposes—and that with those purposes fulfilled, each of them was ready to move on by the time I met them. [...]

[...] During all of that time we had no communication with Walt, as might be expected, although we often talked about him and wished him well. Yet a year or so after Jane’s death Walt wrote to me, and we began a most interesting correspondence although we were never to meet. Walt gave me background information about Jane’s history, and his own, and the welcome news that he had married again and fathered several children. [...]

[...] Walt and I got along well. [...]

[...] Walt did not want him physically, but he did not love Walt. [...]

(“And with Walter Zeh’s?" [Walt was Jane’s first husband.])

[...] As a child he closed off the expression of emotion from his mother out of fear, and when the fear element becomes strong as it did later for a different reason, with Walt, and much later for a far different reason with you, the pattern was reasserted.

[...] One day he could leave Walt, and he did. [...]

[...] [As I wrote this down, in the second sentence with the * I found myself substituting Rob’s name, no, Walt’s name for Rob’s. Maybe something happened to Walt? [...]

(Saturday morning, April 25: When we went to bed, Jane dreamed about her mother and about writing about her life with Walt. [...]

[...] It certainly did not seem that he was being overly cautious in any regard, and yet when his sexuality was perhaps most noticeable, he made sure he took up with a man, Walt, who could not take advantage of it—a very cautious step for all of its unconventional overtones.

[...] Leaving Walt for you on a moment’s notice, so to speak, was not extremist behavior either, for he had spent three years in that relationship, and gave it indeed all the trial period it deserved. [...]

[...] At one time he equated you with Walt in his dreams. [...]

Walt turned him over to you only too gladly. [...]